Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
DaniPandi 22
That bites. But, hey, have fun on the dive!
IdontWanna69 8
As long as you're not on your period you should be fine!
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Comments (146)
ddeathbombb 5
Lucky
FMLsOhilarious 6
You don't say?
GypsyRover 0
I'm a commercial diver. Don't worry,you will have fun.
FMLsOhilarious 6
You don't say?
perdix 31
Did he ask you to wear his lucky chum belt on you dive? Does your shampoo suddenly smell like tuna blood?
FMLsOhilarious 6
Tuna blood smelling shampoo? That's disgusting.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Wow, you people are really thumbing me down for saying that tuna blood shampoo is nasty? What do you expect me to say, that it smells nice? Well you're all out of your freaking minds if you think that. It's DISGUSTING. Point. Blank. Period.
perdix 31
Not exactly. I was suggesting that the dad put some tuna blood in the OP's shampoo. I agree it's disgusting, but when you want to attract sharks. . .
desireev 18
65- Why do you always have to be such a ******** jackass?! And why are you getting so butt-hurt over thumbs down? Everybody gets them! You getting mad and freaking out on everyone for thumbing you down isn't going to make them give you thumbs up! You never say anything nice, positive, or even funny! You're so serious all the damn time! And, for complaining about the thumbs down, you seem a little immature! Grow up & shut up! And quit being such an asshole. Maybe you'll get more thumbs up! Have a great day! :)
FMLsOhilarious 6
#72 Why do I have to be a "******** jackass"? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I say what I feel and don't sensor it whatsoever. If people have a problem or get offended, I don't care. LMAO, I'm not butt-hurt by getting thumbed down. I just thought it was ridiculous to be thumbed down for saying tuna blood smelling shampoo was gross, but if people are into that shit, fine. Who cares if I don't say anything nice? Have you ever thought that maybe I wasn't a nice person? And for the last time, I wasn't complaining. Why do YOU always have to reply to one of my comments? I did nothing to you. We're all just expressing our opinions on here, so don't come down on me for expressing mine just because I have nothing positive or nice to say. And yes, I'm a total asshole. Get over it.
Cartera 10
Hey, at least he didn't make you watch Sanctum!
firefighterjohn 9
stop being a pussy gezz
TheEpicMilkMan 13
bro carry a harpoon just in case D:
Calyx_fml 22
At least he didn't choose Open Water.
chenry1 4
That movie was dumb as hell. OP is lucky dad didn't pick that movie.
eviannastorm 4
Amen to that! And seriously, they actually made a 2nd one.... I mean hell, in the first one they were human bobbers throughout the majority of the movie... They both die, the end.... Honestly no need to make a 2nd one.....
jujubunni5 9
Hahaha (: gotta love dads!