Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if I wanted a therapist. I said that I didn't know. Then my mom said, "But wait, it's going to cost a lot of money!" FML
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
Today, I went to see a certified trauma specialist for my PTSD. I saw her for 35 minutes of my hour-long session because she ran late with the patient before me, and then kicked me out early. Her expert treatment plan? "Just don't think about it." I paid $260 for that. FML
Today, my therapist told me she can’t see me by herself anymore because frankly I have so many problems, I need separate therapists, each with their own specialties, to work together on me as a team. I didn’t think it was that bad. FML
Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML
Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Webslinger66 10
You are beautiful. No matter what they say!! You now owe me $50
ALlamaOnFire 20
Ditch that bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
Webslinger66 10
You are beautiful. No matter what they say!! You now owe me $50
margie2194 12
THESE WORDS CANT BRING YOU DOWN!!
flamegrilled123 3
You're beautiful in every single way
SkoomaKi 28
£100?! Three words: **** that shit!
s0m3guy2010 21
1- $50 and you don't include even one shitty vocal run? I'm taking my money elsewhere.
pinkcrayola 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And this is why I think people should try to solve their own problems instead of talking to a therapist. It's like paying someone to be your friend.
lolmigosh 15
She's giving you What a Girl Wants!
IdontWanna69 8
1- Your picture is inspirational enough
LaurenMarie223 0
Christina Grabmyhaira!!!!
NuTrees 9
71- some people need an ear to pour their selves to. Not everyone has a sound mind to solve there own problems.
evamusical 12
Candy man! Candy man!
WTFreversed 5
Actually it would be around 180$
jonriise18 3
OP really should have realized the minute the therapist started talking about "genie's in a bottle".
Bad92LX 1
Yes, you ARE in fact a genie in a bottle.
daxxbuttons 12
115 - You /do/ realize that there's more than one type of currency, yes? And that she's talking pounds, not dollars? So yes. Approx 180$ is about 100 of their pounds.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Ditch that bitch.
LilyCow 5
Sounds like anyone can be a therapist these days then
gurly98 13
Exactly!!
lolmigosh 15
op should look at their Reflection and see if they're making the right choice
ninjuh_wingman 29
You paid for some expensive songs.
AkshaySauce 5
Not as expensive as on iTunes.
Mister_Triangle 21
Maybe he pirated some music and the therapist was an RDAA spy
epenter60 0
what a waste
biggestfan23 11
Just like your confederate flag
snippyxD 7
4- you dont say! Idiot...
smoshianforever 0
RACIST! GET RID OF THAT PROFILE PUC!
THExistentialist 13
not as much of a waste as your (buried) comment.
LaughinStock 16
THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN MEEMA!!!! LOL
tylersign 11
The next time, reply with some Keith Urban stuff, see if she gets the hint.
blackbelt25 12
Next time pay her with monopoly money.
unoffensivename 0
I'd quote Christina Aguilera Lyrics, but I listen to good music.
MissDizzyLizzy 2
Amen to that...
reppin561 1
Your TheRapist raped your wallet
muzy 23
Did you smoke something which interferes with your ability, to form coherent sentences ?
TomHarrow 5
Made perfect sense to me. Read it again maybe.
saidawhiting 14
muzy, did you smoke something which interferes with your ability to use commas properly?
muzy 23
43- I don't have to answer that !
redhedsaysrawr 18
saidawhiting, did you smoke something that interferes with your ability to not be a jerk?
saidawhiting 14
redheadsaysrawr - No, I can be a jerk without the aid of any mind-altering substances.
nublets 12
To those to stupid to the the very obvious joke, read it like this: THE RAPIST. Now put those words together and what do you have? Yes thats right Therapist. Problem solved
THExistentialist 13
36- smoke something and you might be able to comprehend coherent sentences.
sycosyd_97 1
#36 r u dumb? That has to be the dumbest and rudest comment on here. Can u not read or did u not turn on your brain today?
daxxbuttons 12
"dumbest" AND "rudest" Comment? Really? Not only the dumbest comment on this thread, but the one that offends the most people? Doubtful. #36 is being an ass, sure. But you're exaggerating.
MissNicky_fml 0
#36 reread it
jillianmathers12 13
Go and get your money back!
hahayourmom101 5
how much is £100 in U.S. dollars. sorry im quite lazy
muzy 23
Don't know but I can tell you how much wow gold that is.
muzy 23
is*
zaff97 9
its about $150
The_Hitdude 12
20-More like $220.
blackbelt25 12
I got $131.29. But that's from an app that's who knows hold old.
muzy 23
22- maybe ten years ago.
saidawhiting 14
At the current exchange rate, one pound is about 1.6 USD, so $160.
jtthegr8 26
20 was right its 150
FMLshark 12
In the time you spent making that comment and waiting for people to answer, you could have googled this five times over. The more you know.
awkward_turtles 1
The more you know, the more you Kohls.
BunBunBabe 8
Wow that would suck to realize that she had been repeating stupid lyrics from someone who didn't even write then on their own to begin with... Get a new therapist that one sucks and is not doing their job
THExistentialist 13
you're right, she didn't write her own lyrics; it was her therapist.
muzy 23
pfff you could have gotten better advice from a fortune cookie.....
kodyrsswanson 6
Same
cannibletaco 6
Same what?!? The anticipation is killing me!