Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
DaniPandi 22
That bites. But, hey, have fun on the dive!
IdontWanna69 8
As long as you're not on your period you should be fine!
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Comments (146)
hewro_failure 11
This is not an FML ... You are going on a diving expedition tomorrow that's awesome
unitedfan11 0
Pretty sure 40 was just kidding... It's kinda obvious.
r0ckoman 0
Don't worry there are only 9 shark related deaths in America every year
juicycouture101 0
I have a feeling he doesn't want you to go?
Bubbilility 27
My mum used to put Air Crash Investigations on before I went on plane trips... Deduction: All parents are EVIL~!
yourwifelovesme 25
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
GALLIFREYANTIMEL 12
That's like me when I was going on my first cruise. I'm the one that wanted to watch Poseidon though.
Davyrock123 6
I know this is extremely late, but honestly, when I dive, if I see something like Jaws right beforehand, I don't look in the open water, I just look at the reef or the ground ahead of me. At night, I stay really close to my dive buddy and look only around where my light is pointing. Just don't let those cheesy, fake movies bother you. That includes those fake Shark Week mockumentaries, which are just shitshows.
becca9985 34
Be grateful he didn't show you Open Water. You'd never want to get in the water after watching that.