Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML
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Top comments
HotCheetos22 4
Your dad is a jerk.
micah38 5
WTF was the prank?!!!
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Comments (113)
turtleflarf98 2
More like forever alone!!!
rcgirl2 11
What did he do?
downtime 13
18, When the number of lesbians exceeds that of straight people your comment will make sense. When someone says they are female, the natural inclination is toward them being straight unless specified. It wasn't specified.
PhishloverA 14
He's trying to find hot nurses for you because he feels bad
freshlybreezy 15
actually, she lives in AUSTRIA. Slight difference there...
MindFreakazoid 10
22 - but of course! Don't you know about Rory Williams? No? Sorry, stupid need joke...
MindFreakazoid 10
Nerd, gosh I hate autocorrect
TriflingAllDay 6
The pikachu part is actually correct I believe.
trippythehippy 6
Since your female (did anyone else notice?). Get him back. OP: dad, what if you hurt the baby???!!!??? Oh btw, happy grandparents day, in about 7 months.
thecovert 7
Parents....we are funny.