Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
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Top comments
RezaCookies 0
yeahh youd rather burn than be soothed by cold water huh.
Me654 0
Well shouldn't it cool you down a bit?
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Comments (136)
nason222 0
your dad must be really stupid.
Daerauko 0
he's not stupid. He just missed his single days and wet t-shirt contests. "oh OP you look so much like your mother" *breathing heavily*
tesuan 0
Crrrrreeeeeeeeepy
kiltsaresexy 4
Not stupid, but smart. He got the coffee off. As long as the hot coffee is on them, it will burn.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Lmao #17
catatonicsleep 17
Not stupid, if you get scalded you're supposed to run the area under cold water...
stewpididiot 11
oP YDI for drinking 'Boiling Hot Coffee'.... or, were you exaggerating just a wee bit ?
T3P33_fml 0
Daerayko seems like a wise man.
khaya 9
This sounds like the beginning of a very badly scripted porno.
dolphincheddar 10
I agree. "sorry babe you're so hot I had to put you out" just wait for the pizza guy to show up with the extra sausage large pizza
maa_rico 4
Not even in the sanctuary women are safe :(
aminel 0
@ (17) drawn together?
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
you're a hypocrite # 70
kaylanicole1255 1
No, your not supposed to run a burn under cold water. New rules for burns! Take a 1st aid class!
BlackOpsPWNR 0
OP is a douce!(spelling error?)(shut up Nazis!)
Me654 0
Well shouldn't it cool you down a bit?
Byah 2
Yeah, it would. It's not going to "put you out" since you're not on fire, but it'll still cool you down. I heard baking soda and water stop the pain pretty effectively too.
flickyourbic1223 7
Mustard takes the sting out.
testthecoal 5
so do peppers
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Vinegar.
dolphincheddar 10
sperm
ryanriola 0
****
Snowstar 0
lemon juice works well. the bigger the wound, the better!
NCR 0
C-C-Combo breaker
limepinklis 0
Ay yi yi...
RezaCookies 0
yeahh youd rather burn than be soothed by cold water huh.
thebestof1984 0
At least he cares enough to cool you down!!!
BurnDownTheDawn 11
dumb ass,, he probably knew that you need to stop burns with cold water before they become worse. So stfu he just saved you third degree burns!
Christonarhino 0
Wow, a coffee maker that heats your coffee enough to destroy skin and nerves? I need one of those!
catatonicsleep 17
I was carrying a coffee in a cardboard cup and I got a burn which tuned into a huge blister from it without the coffee even having to touch my skin
kaylanicole1255 1
#7 New rules for burns, your not supposed to run burns under cold water anymore! So before you name call someone.....
Amoondris 17
It is warm water, cold water causes your body to go into shock.
kaylanicole1255 1
#112 First aid class is where I learned it from.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Never run cold water over burns.
violetsweety 26
it's never put ice on a burn not cold water.. cold water heals me everytime. How would warm water work? Doesnt make much sense does it?
Kaoticwolf 17
cold watet causes shock and its dangerous timid water or just a little hos is good to stop blisteting and help healing
mk58 31
Hey, he was only trying to help. At least you didn't burn yourself down there!!
shibainu519 0
ouch. your dad fails at life.
mk58 31
Love your pic! The Annoying Orange is hilarious!
shibainu519 0
#32 thanks!
4XxXo_OxXx4 0
the annoying orange is ******* ANNOYING. but I guess it's supposed to be. and would you rather be burnt than be cooled off?
TraceCase_ 19
Good lookin' out, your Dad! Probably helped the coffee stains from setting in your clothes too! Just grab the sprayer and get him back for the whole situation, then have a good laugh XD
mrsninja 2
Actually, dousing you with cold water is the right thing to do with hot water burns. A similar thing happened to a girl at my school. I threw loads of cold water on her after it happened and was told that that was the best thing to do. So, kudos to your dad for trying to rectify his mistake.
ImmortalKratos 0
actually baking soda is the best. it stops the chemical reaction of your skin when it burns. if you get it on quick enough it won't even leave a blister
stewpididiot 11
11 you are correct. 18 you are wrong. cold water or ice is definitely the way to go.
thewife5 19
no.. studies show ice should not be used.. but yes on the cold water.
thewife5 19
Immerse the burn in cool or cold water. Do not put ice directly on the burn, as this can cause further damage to the skin. Make the water as cold as tolerable and keep it in water until pain ceases.
jess2gd4u 0
actually it's room temp water.
jess2gd4u 0
you got it 39/41
kaylanicole1255 1
Actually cold water is the worst for burns! What are they teaching y'all??!!!??? Take a new 1st aid class. Learn, pleaseee!!
wisericky 12
actually, you throw more hot coffee to counter the coffee burning the skin. you guys are welcome, and should really take a first aid class like i did.