Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
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Comments (370)
Person1233 13
She didn't sleep with ALL of them. Note the "who were virgins," part. But she obviously has been seduced by a few so YDI.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Note the past tense of "were". She did sleep with them all.
hotice 4
Well, I keep a list of those who I've slept with. And it's on thirteen guys and I'm 18. And you shouldn't call anyone a **** just because she's slept with many people. Why is that so low-life? Just means that she knows how to have fun
Freeze_fml 17
You're a ****.
the_flirtt 0
shit i'm 20 and it's only been 8 for me 0_0
hotice 4
I'm a ****? Just because somebody is a virgin, they don't have to be jealous
5t3ff1k4h 47
99, you aren't necessarily a ****, however the higher number of partners does imply that in some cases. It all depends on circumstances. You're all assuming, and yes, 99, you're guilty of it too. You can't assume someone's a virgin because they called you a ****.
Person1233 13
You've slept with 13 guys and you're 18? I'm going to assume you were raped 12 of those times...
Raleigh_bruh 7
My question is, what's up with the lists? Is it so you can call up the ones that were best in bed, and cross out the ones that weren't? Sorry if this question sounds stupid, I'm just genuinely curious though.
hotice 4
That's what I'm trying to prove here. It depends And no, not everyone calling someone a **** is virgins, but if they think 13 is much, they must either wait until marriage, or be super-pricky
cstrat 0
Sleeping with lots of people is the definition of a ****. You fail.
the_flirtt 0
107 is doesn't make u a **** but in some cases they would call u easy
nabo4u 0
dude if you've been with 13 people by age 18, you might as well start charging for it. this way you graduate to a ***** and get to buy nice things
larissa132 0
or have respect for themselves and don't open their legs for everyone? yeah you are def a ****.... enjoy ur stds.
the_flirtt 0
or enjoy ur baby, if he's not using a jimmy
Raleigh_bruh 7
Not on anyone's side here, buuuuut.. I'm pretty sure not all ***** get STDs. Just because you sleep with a lot of people, doesn't mean they all have to have a disease. I think it's perfectly possible that a person could sleep with thirteen people, or twenty, or whatever and not have an STD; maybe all of said people were clean. I don't know, just giving my opinion.
hotice 4
First of all, I'm going to be a doctor, not a *****. Second, why should I charge people? I only do it with who I want to do it with, not with all those who want to do it with me (no, I'm not saying that ALL want to sleep with me, I'm just saying if some drunk or old or not handsome or nice person want to do it with me, I say no). And I've never had a STD in my life. And there is someone who get it without even sleeping with more than one.
Person1233 13
You are one lucky ****.
the_flirtt 0
you make a good point
hotice 4
What do you gain by calling someone a ****? Honor, IQ, money, self respect? If you think about it, you gain nothing. And if you're trying to bring anyone down by calling someone a ****, you sure got a boring life. And 144, thank you, if you meant me
the_flirtt 0
ya I did no prob
Cuppycake1488 0
Yeah that's true 140, but the more people you sleep with, there's a higher chance of getting an STD. It's a double standard for guys and girls. If a girl sleeps with 32 guys, she's a ****. If a guy sleeps with 32 girls, he's a legend :) and for the OP, I can kind of understand that a lot of girls get pressured into doing things they don't want too do. But it still dosn't make it ok/: anyways, I'm pretty neutral here. FYL for being easy and YDI for keeping record of such things. I don't understand why you would even want too? :D unless it's one of your hobbies...
the_flirtt 0
pretty wierd hobby ?
kisseshugsdrugs 5
im gonna have to agree with hotice on this one..although thirteen guys is kinda high considering you probably havent even graduated high school yet. ok heres the deal; ***** **** EVERYONE! if you pick and choose who you want to ****, youre just keeping your pimphand strong ;]
owo_fml 9
152--I'd call a guy like that a manwhore(:
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
319: Me too.
dance_till_dawn 0
Cuppycake1488? You are not ******* neutral if you just called her easy.
fatfatgoeshome 8
since we're talking about numbers here, I would just like to take the time to inform everyone that I have slept with at least 5794589304 people, give or take a few thousand. but I'm not a ****! >:(
aShLeE52210 0
are you bi? what you implyed is that you already did them...an there were girls AND guys
pickledpandas 0
if you need a list it's too many people.
hotice 4
104, I didn't remember who by just my head, so I have to write a list
cstrat 0
You don't remember who you've slept with and who you haven't? Sounds pretty slurry to me.
cstrat 0
*slutty. Damn autocorrect.
hotice 4
It is pretty hard to think of thirteen names that you've slept with, yes. And, in case I got some STD's (that I shouldn't because I'm responsible) I need to notify any who may have given me anything.
Raleigh_bruh 7
#115 - Slurry = ****/*****/skutt/whatever. So your phone/iPod's auto-correct is pretty smart. :P Not calling anyone a ****, just pointing out that word does indeed exist.
cstrat 0
That's at least a good reason to keep a list. I hadn't thought about that.
hotice 4
Exactly.
Freeze_fml 17
You can't remember the names of people you've slept with? My ******* god. You live in a river in Egypt.
hotice 4
I can remember them, but what if I forgot someone? I know it isn't a big deal, unless I got a STD or something from that person. And then I can remember how many I've slept with when I'm 87 xD
VegasSkiess 0
think u shuld learn to close ur legs and be a lady?
mexican_girl 0
I think she made a list of ppl she WANTS to sleep with, colour-coding them as relationships and one-night-stands... And she's just keeping track of who is still a virgin
AndelleRae 9
Nice try, but no. Read it again: "Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc." She kept track of everyone she slept with, who she wants to sleep with again, who she never wants sleep with again, and who was a virgin WHEN she slept with them. I have to wonder how old OP is. That's an impressive number of people to have under your belt. o_o
VegasSkiess 0
who keeps track of other ppls virginity? jus curious
owo_fml 9
I think you are right when you say it's happened, but I just wanted to say that standard writing makes everything past tense. since the even already occurred, the list would also be in past.
Shopaholic69137 0
effing ****.
nabo4u 0
dude 32 guys and 4 chicks. your dad must be blooming with pride at the fact that not only is his little girl is bisexual, but a complete slutbag. maybe if you spent less time on your back/knees, you'd be able to do something a little more constructive with your life
cinderellie 0
completely ******* agree. i bet the number is so high because everyone knows how easy you are.
Gonqshow 0
Wooooo..!! Go Canada!!