Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (370)
mpclaw 3
can I get on the list? oops, I first need to know your age and measurements. do you have a feedback page I check?
Fufii 0
your a ****. fyl for being easy
satanic_fml 13
32 guys and 4 girls...that's it???
zenti 2
Um, I have a question...why would you make a list?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
As someone pointed out earlier, one benefit of a list is that it simplifies contacting your pastvparters if you develop an STD/STI. A more obvious solution would be to just cut back on the number of partners and reduce your risk altogether, but I guess that isn't so easy for the OP...
missme2 3
who does that?!? if it's good, you remember. if it's not, why bother?
WazUpItzRyan 0
Sooo... 4 girls. Lets hear about that...
KANDiiKiSS3S 0
I'm guessing this is an FML bc of your embarrasment when ur dad found your list instead of being grateful he didn't call you **** but that's beside the point when u post it on fml so everyone else in the world can call u a **** great job:)
kmarie7823 7
she obviously had to state there were men and women to get more male attention. that's so sad. I've only slept with one man in my life and I'm still with him, that's something I'm perfectly fine with cause at least I know where he's been!!! you should be disgusted with yourself. and you might wanna go to a doctor before your ****** rots off. :P
123sploosh 0
you have got to be one of the most ridiculous, ignorant and self righteous sons of bitches on the planet. if you came on here to call people you dont know a ****, then YOU deserve to have your ****** rotted off and you SHOULD be disgusted with yourself. get a life, stop insulting people to make yourself feel better about yourself.
kroms001_fml 0
252... sooo, if you have a list, can I be on it? pwease? fricken HOT
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
237: No, the inclusion of women is pertinent to the FML, because at the very least Dad would be expected to react to *that.* Even if he was fine with the number of male partners, female ones would typically be a shock to a parent who is in the dark about his daughter's orientation experiments/possible bisexuality. The fact that her dad wasn't surprised heightens the impact of the FML.
evfreak_fml 0
I have gotta make one of these lists...
XXXL87 0
op's junk is prolly ( if not already ) gonna look like the "blue waffel" YDI for being a *****.