Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
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Comments (370)
sallen0046 4
When your sex life gets so complicated that you need a color coded chart to remember who you've done, you need to back up off your ***** a little bit. Your life is indeed ******, but because you're a ****, not because your dad found out that you're a ****.
ManaUser 0
That's awesome.
JaneINlove 0
labeled: good/bad kisser tongue good breath xD
BoneThugBaby 0
lemme take some notes from this hoe.... lol um deeyum iwudda punched the shit of my child if she eva did that lemme tell ya.... anyways ihope she qets chlamidya how eva u spell it lol nd one my frends gt that mess ughhh
b3nn3tt 0
Wow! There are a lot of judgemental people on here. Is it really anyone's business how many people OP has slept with? Granted, she has told the internet, but that's still no right to judge her for it I wonder if all these people would have the same problem with this if the OP was a guy? I'm thinking perhaps not Also, to agree with #140, it doesn't matter how many people you sleep with, it's no indication of whether or not you're going to get an STD. You could have sex with just one person in your life, but if they had an STD then you do too. Similarly, you could sleep with hundreds of people and remain STD free. Stop jumping to conclusions Personally, I'm leaning more towards a YDI because of the fact she has a colour-coded list and I can't really see the point in that. I'd also think that if the list consisted of two people
Malfegora 0
*cough* ***** *cough* wow, that is pathetic. what a loser you are, op. have you ever heard of self-respect? well, if you think you can't do better...but that really shows you are insecure. like, you have to sleep with SO many people to think you are somebody...how sad.
taskemus 10
@157 The OP never said she doesn't respect herself or that she's insecure, just that she's had a lot of sex. How is that a bad thing, if that's what she wanted?
thesausageparty 0
****** unite!! I'm with yea OP!! everyone else is just jealous x)
miss_la_rue 6
... I hope you put this much effort into other areas of your life, OP. Because if it's only sex that you care about this much, you have bigger problems than being a massive ****.
Kjam7 6
25 should have money thrown at him for that comment
M0llie 0
rofl , you should if hidden in more. but a good idea.