Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
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Comments (370)
thatisaWIN 5
ok if that were my dad he would be PISSED! so ur lucky though nxt time try to hide it.....
rmgould 0
way to stay on the positive side!
jim69_fml 0
HIV?
Jessicaa96145 0
8. my brother is 22 and is still at home. but i agree. and op. atleast he wasnt mad?
gIsaac 0
my friend is 26, has a pregnant girlfriend, just graduated from college, has yet to find a job, and still lives with his parents haha crazy europeans
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
47: Oftentimes that's just a different culture thing.
iranoutofnames 6
what the ****?
larissa132 0
haha! that's funny. but really that's kinda slutty considering how many people are on that list. :s self respect?
Rob_2112 0
Gotta say, you are lucky. Hate for him to seek out each person for punishment
rileykins 0
36 people..? hmm.. well.. good motivation?
tiffyxmac 0
thats just gross..smh
texassmile05 0
WOW... That's RIDICULOUS!!! Why would you have sex with that many people? Are you a prostitute or something? That wouldn't make it any more acceptable, but atleast you were getting paid to have such a high number of people you have doinked!!
Rob207 3
what part of texas ya from?
DancerrBabii 0
Wow 32 guys!! Eeekk. Almost your fault for having a stupid list.
Clarence Gilbert 7
question is, why have a list in the first place?
Liphaem5 22
I think OP has to keep a list to keep track of the names, 36 name's can get muddled in your head pretty quickly.. I also kept a list but this was when I first started having sex, after that it just seemed silly. I kept the list for nostalgia purposes