Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
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Comments (370)
MeGustaComer 0
it's creepy how you keep track of everyone on a list.
iheartGnR 1
How is this an FML. You chose to make a list of people you've opened your legs too, so don't complain when it's found. I dont understand though. If you're willing to tell everyone in the internet world all about it, along with the exact number of men AND women....why do you give a rats ass that your dad found out? He's only one person. ydi.
lausarndon 0
Did none of you read the virgins part? Some of those 36 people are virgins, and therefor have never had sex with her. Quit jumping to cunclusions just because you love to bash people you don't know.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
They WERE virgins, past tense. They aren't anymore, because she slept with them and took their virginity. Geez.
kroms001_fml 0
HE NOT SHE, it's a GUY... or can't anyone see the gender sign at the top of the post!?!?
Freeze_fml 17
You mean the purple circle with a plus underneath it? That's the female symbol, dipshit.
kroms001_fml 0
LOL and I accept the title of dipshit humbly. rotflmao FML TODAY while posting on fml...
Freeze_fml 17
Touché, happy guy.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The arrow looks like an erect penis. The plus sign looks like a woman with a swelled head [ego]. That's how I remember them. Plus, y'know, the whole pink/blue thing on this specific site. :} If I wasn't a feminist, I'd say those symbols display the organ each sex uses to think. But I don't believe in gender generalizations, so I'll refrain. >.<
canter91 3
YDI for having so many sexual partners in such a short time, and being PROUD enough of yourself to make a list of them. If you still live with your dad I'm going to estimate your age at 20 or younger. How irresponsible of you. You're lucky he wasn't angry. Number of sexual partners isn't something to congratulate yourself about. Grow up, and while you're at it, you might want to get tested for STDs, even if you used protection with all 32 guys and 4 girls. You are exponentially increasing the number of people you've been exposed to (the past partners of all your partners) and therefore your risk of infection.
fairies633 8
ew you nasty **** I hope you die! you *****! bitch ass!
redtigerlily 5
That's kind of skanky. Nothing to be proud of.
1peculiarchik 3
she had to write it all down so she could keep track of the guys. Her dad should quit complimenting her organisation skills and talk to her about not being such a woo-ore
F3n0m 0
*****
tmontoya 0
funny if this was a guy it would be high fives all around but because it's a girl she is a **** I don't see anything wrong with a woman living with the morals of man.
kmarie7823 7
lmfao!! @ 91 :D what a nasty ****!