Today, my dad asked my step-mom if he could get some booty before bed because he still had energy. He didn't realize I was still in the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I woke up early and went into the kitchen to get a Monster, and my dad was getting head from his girlfriend with no pants on. FML
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Top comments
cylus13 9
Good for him. You will do it to your kids one day.
scyth3s 13
Your parents, even step parents have sex. Grow the **** up and deal with it. I don't think I'll ever understand why we're so touchy about parental sex. It is NORMAL.
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Comments (36)
Welshite 40
Don't judge, OP. He just wants to follow his map to the treasured chest.
Welshite 40
Is that when he yells out "prepare to be boarded!"?
MetalxSoldier 26
Maybe there will be a pearl necklace.
Livelife121 30
I know it is awkward to hear that OP, but after awhile of hearing your parents say that it won't bother you..
maritime1992 5
a step mom is not a parent
Welshite 40
Tell that to the man who raised me. My step-father IS my dad.
maritime1992 5
14, congratulations. I'm not a big fan of my step mother
katty18724 25
Just because you don't like your step parent doesn't mean that they aren't parents.. I'm a step mom to a wonderful 3 year old and she loves and looks up to me.
maritime1992 5
17, we're all entitled to our opinions.
trollcrusher 17
19 Yes, we're all entitled to our opinions. The thing is, you projected your opinion as a fact; your wording asserted that no step-mother can be a parent, when you could've just said "my step-mom isn't like a parent to me". It's an important distinction, one which you didn't make; I think that's why you raised some hackles here.
maritime1992 5
25, parents are biological
Bearsmomma 30
Why on earth would would it happen often enough to "get used to it"? I think most adults avoid saying things like that around their children (grown or not). Making eyes or sneaky whispers and hints, maybe, by it not just outright and on purpose.
sweetpotato301 7
Not everyone has biological parents who are living, or nice people. Some people consider their step mom a parent and love her as they would a biological parent. Just because you don't like your step mother, doesn't mean other people can't think of theirs as a parent.
sirdannyboy1 20
Let your parents have fun, OP. It might seem gross but just ignore it and move on.
stryder9090 28
So...did he get some booty or not?
extremereviews 26
Ikr
RichardPencil 32
It could have been worse in so many ways. He could have known you were in the room. He could have asked for "booty" in "comment moderated" language. He could have given the real reason he wanted booty. I could go on...
Tarlachia 33
That's not as bad as a drunk stepdad perverting a classic Dr. Seuss book on my mother by saying "One fish (twist her nipple), two fish (twist her other nipple), red fish (grab her waist), blue fish (thrust himself on her)!" We were at a family friendly party, and the adults got a tad too drunk. Clothes remained on, but still it wasn't kid friendly anymore. Not something a 13 year old kid is expecting to see when he walks into the kitchen for a glass of water. I wasn't that thirsty anymore.
RichardPencil 32
Looks like your stepdad was thirsty enough for everyone.
Tarlachia 33
Preach!
dralloc17 0
You should make a FML about that story
scyth3s 13
Your parents, even step parents have sex. Grow the **** up and deal with it. I don't think I'll ever understand why we're so touchy about parental sex. It is NORMAL.
Misoranomegami 16
Not just normal but desirable and a good thing. Couples should have a healthy sex life, even if they have kids old enough to be on fml. News flash, most of our grandparents are probably still knocking boots regularly if their health allows.
Bearsmomma 30
Not an issue knowing it happens, but announcing it to the family first isn't normal
TaoShaman 24
The majority of people don't really want to think about relatives having sex. They know it's likely that they are, but having it discussed right in front of you kind of forces you to think about it. Also plenty of couples don't have sex. It's not a requirement for a healthy relationship if it's mutually agreed that they don't find it mandatory.
scyth3s 13
Grow up, people.
torrea 19
It's not the end of the world, I could understand he did something instead of talking about it. If you haven't yet, you will someday and it won't be so bad.
great_nate 26
Boo-frickety-hoo! Parents need private time also.
URBeingLied2 23
He knew you were in the room.