Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
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Top comments
JZhang91 0
his body is ready
MzMegs 20
Gotta hate perverts. :(
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Comments (254)
JZhang91 0
his body is ready
Stupified 0
^lol
Snow_Daisy 7
Who hopes for severe turbulence? Seriously..
Freeze_fml 17
^ You fail. Seriously...
jdawgg92 1
^agreed
B4SK3TB4IL 0
^ agreed
Stupified 0
^ disagreed.
Jessi2487 0
what a loser flying first class for the first time smh
KingDingALing 9
^ agree to disagree
purplemonster89 0
what is smh?
aaliyahbaybee 0
93 - *shakes my head* what a Creep! =|
bigblue95 0
that is a totally epic thing to say. i mean come on. how can u not apreiciate that... might have spelled apreiciate wrong.
Theblue_fml 0
don't worry I appreciate your effort to spell appreciate
theCrispyOstrich 0
rich people often behave worse than poor people
I_iz_special 0
Hey at least he didn't start watching ****. ; )
Baker_FoCo 0
Yeah, cause every person who sits in coach is poor...
pwincessa23 1
smh=shake my hooters. hahaha perfect for this post!!
rushiee 0
suck it up princess hes complimenting your ****. be happy. and cover up you were probly asking for it just saying..
zp5 4
#128 or did he? O_O
kybabyy 4
Yes, what a princess. All women want creepy men to harass them about their chests. She must have been asking for it.
I_iz_special 0
193 I think the Op would have put that in her(?) post. Well that is if she saw it. O.o
Fizzy56 0
hey kybabyy ;) how can I message you?
anorexicbarbie 8
210 - It's really simple, just hit ALT + F4.
zp5 4
#209 that's what she said! for your mess-up.
bauerd 0
this from a girl with a pic of her ****?
swagasaurusrex 10
Lol
MzMegs 20
Gotta hate perverts. :(
FunkyAndFresh 7
He sounds like an absolute legend.
crazyazzkile 5
Sounds like a ******* creep. Sick ****.
franniedottp 8
but u gotta love 'em, as well. if they're not being a total pervy wankerstick to you. it's entertaining to hear about :P
underaegis 0
hate em'? it's a complement... just coming out of a creepers mouth
hamizami 3
booby jiggle. :{
Cinn_fml 23
Wow, is this really the state of things? Why are some people so rude and perverted?
mattman1994 0
Did you just fart? Cuz baby you sure blew me away
AudaciouslyInsan 0
It smells like dead animal carcass, oh the smell of redundancy. Be careful though, the malicious people of society are watching... >.> Sucks, OP
sourgirl101 29
What about the pick up line: You must be a speeding ticket because you have FINE written all over you. I'm not a "Cheesehead" but I do like cheese.(:
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Hahaha "You're so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line." There's cheese for you. :p
mattman1994 0
baby did you fall from heaven? because I have an erection
gibby1235 6
a better one that actually works some times is hey I forgot my number so can I borrow yours instead
illmatic2 16
Did you use to live on a farm? Because you're really good at raising cocks.
MissGrinch 4
Pssh. "I lost my virginity. Can I has yours and a cheezburger?"
Stupified 0
How bout: Can we ****?
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
rnett08 5
no for me it's: if I put skittles in my mouth would you taste the rainbow ;)
sourgirl101 29
Do you like anal? Don't worry, I have a tiny peepee.
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Hahahaha, I'm done after these two. If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction. Hey baby, I'm like a rubix cube. The more you play with me the harder I get. (for guys, funny none the less. xD)
chuck_yams 0
61 win. 68 perverted win. nothin wrong with that, tho.
chuck_yams 0
you owe me a beer, cuz when I saw u, I dropped mine.
chuck_yams 0
add on to the WMD thing. if I were bush, I would be callin u a nuk-a-ler bomb. wow, I suck at this. and I need to stop commenting. DAMMIT!
CitrusGirl 0
did you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast? Cuz you look magically delicious!
Theblue_fml 0
Here's my fancy-shmansy handy-dandy pick-up line: If you had a Popsicle I'd lick it.
chimpsndip 0
Girl, are your parents retarded? Because you look pretty special.
TheWhiteBunny 3
The kitteh wins!
mattman1994 0
You've been a bad girl. You're grounded. Go to my room
boopityboppity 11
*Aims a railgun up and fires*
KiddNYC1O 22
how is it that everyone overlooked #75? never heard that one before lol epic
sourgirl101 29
(: I've heard : "I'm going to spank you with out using my hands" before.
boopityboppity 11
I'm confused. Do you actually find these amusing?
sourgirl101 29
But you already know the answer. I'm sorry I'll stop. I never want to bother people on this site. I was just bored 'cause my college teams are all losing. Good night.
Artemis7th 2
3, I would like to sit by you during turbulance. ;-D
brennboo 3
135- agreed!! I actually laughed at 75 :) haha
MotherGrimm 0
"Wanna get a pizza and ****?" "What!?" "What? You dont like pizza?"
hiphop_danca94 2
if you were the numerator, i'd be the denominator:)
stevendsi 0
wow u like commenting lol
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I lost my Teddy bear. Will you sleep with me? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. Are your parents bakers? 'Cause DAMN you got nice buns. Legs is the word of the day. Let's go back to my house and spread the word. Do you work at UPS? 'Cause I swear you were just checking out my package. Do you work at AT&T? 'Cause you're raising my bar. And the best one: Nice shoes. Wanna ****?
maddieclaire 0
my favorite pick up line=I wish you were DSL so I could have high-speed access
mattman1994 0
does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
cutieepie101 0
I got one... roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's f*ck random, eh?
nbjohnson 0
172- definitely a win lol
tngodzilla 0
hmm I do love pick up lines. do you work at subway? cud you just gave me a foot long! did you know there are 206 bones inside the body? You want another in one?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Hey, baby, is that a mirror in your pocket? I ask, because I can see myself in your pants tonight!
OnlyInhuman_fml 0
172: You sir, are a legend.
simbo8 0
lol hahaaaaa
sheribb 5
but that leaves someone to say " ok 04098 NO!! "
ashattack23 1
172- win!
Esb22 9
More like: Hey baby did u fall from heaven? bc ur face is srsly f*d up.
unknown380 3
lol I hope so too unless ur a dude
irish_love 0
greatest thing ive ever heard!!!!!
Alkix 2
Just tell him that you hope not because flying makes your stomach upset. Then act like you are going to throw up the entire time. Burp a little of you can.
BoCo_fml 9
WIN!!!
Stupified 0
Or just show him your penis
seymourlilly17 0
Was there severe turbulence?
j5p332 6
good to know you were still thinking about her chest bouncing
bachooka 5
everyone love a bouncy voluptuous chest... women included. something about boobies is just totally hypnotizing. lol
aardvarkish 17
8, I was going say that, since I think the guy was joking. Still, the humor was probably lost in translation.
saragr94 2
i would have punched him :)
Justincolon22 15
hell yea lock him in the bath room.
nkor1337 1
don't worry, I don't think a man would ever tell you that
maddieclaire 0
ouch, your a jerk
Scififreak339 0
9- to counteract the doucebag 50, if I were sitting next to you on a plane, I hope there was severe turbulence :) just being nice not trying to be a creep
saywhaaat_01 0
ewwww that's so creepy
harmoo_fml 0
just like your profile pic. god what is wrong with those *****?
wolverine1150 0
ur hot
MissGrinch 4
? I don't see a profile photo...
LeftyPitcher 0
100 **** u WTF has she done to u bitch so **** of ass wipe p.s. u moms a ****
Xavi89 0
lmfao!