Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
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Top comments
zombiekiller52 24
Well it's better then walking in on them.
cebsvt 14
Don't come knockin when the trailer's rockin
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Comments (38)
Bansheefaerie 9
awkward. I'm sorry.
zombiekiller52 24
Well it's better then walking in on them.
Dick_diamond 22
*than
zombiekiller52 24
Thanks didn't realize I that that.
AyeJay101 25
Isn't it usually the other way around?
tailahjanae 14
You don't know how freaky older adults get when their children leave the nest. Bless your parents OP!
Diesel96 16
It's not like you could've known, unless you decided to call them. Oh well, OP, at least you didn't actually see him 'balls deep' with your mum.
cebsvt 14
Don't come knockin when the trailer's rockin
Earth_walker 19
Should've left immediately, if they're still getting action you don't want to stop that
cheeeksss 29
I would've high-fived my dad then leave if he said this to me. Love that couples keep their passion alive after many, many years.
deathstroke990 22
there's a difference between keeping passion alive and saying gross unnecessary things to your children. I mean I doubt he says stuff like that abt his sex life to his parents
cheeeksss 29
Well I happen to have a very open relationship with both my parents and we are all blunt people. On top of that, we are all adults and I wouldn't get offended or creeped out if my dad expressed he wanted alone time with my mom. If I were to see it, that's another story.
tomvertigo 17
#11, That prude mentality dies when you play a game of Cards Against Humanity with your whole family and learn that your 65 ywar old dad is sick and twisted.
ThrottleJockey 36
Ah, Cards Against Humanity. It's like a twisted therapy session for the whole family.
RageWolf16 31
My question is why did your dad feel the need to bring it up at all...
Mika90_fml 9
Maybe Op didn't get an earlier hint that he was interrupting something so his father had to put it more bluntly?
False_Stupidity 42
Because he wanted to get back into the action. A hint for OP to leave.
Candijpg 17
there are certain things you don't need to say, this is one of them
whyisitincapital 25
I guess from now on you'll be ringing first before dropping by...