Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML
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Top comments
eash 10
That's horrible!!
604 11
Dafuq? ... That is beyond insensitive. It's downright rude! Karma will take care of them accordingly.
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Comments (62)
darkreddragon19 5
ok, that's hilarious. I love your dad and grandpa
xxreikoxx 31
Most of us are also capable of some social functions despite our anxieties as well. I hate that people down-voted your comment because it was uncalled for.
Eternity49 13
How ****** up. I hope you ripped them a new one about how autism is not retardation
irishmaiden78 23
Hmm... Well I'm autistic and I've never had a complaint before so I think they need to get their heads out of their arses.
LIVE2SUFFER 15
Australians...
aventador333 6
Were they hot though?
TallMist 32
Seeing as I'm autistic, I'm 100% offended by this.
GamerPerson 19
I find this horribly offensive! I'm sorry that your elders are rude, jerk offs, OP!
TopazHobson 4
This is disgusting, but I also found it humerus.
Solano2580 24
I'm against autistic adolescence, they just love to manipulate others (I have experienced multiple accounts of this but only in teenage autistic kids)