Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
eash 10
That's horrible!!
604 11
Dafuq? ... That is beyond insensitive. It's downright rude! Karma will take care of them accordingly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
sionis 3
Lol that's hilarious
IWishIWasObama 12
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
notesz 21
Let's hope, that only you heard. The actual f*ck is wrong with them?!
78apollo78 3
Don't get mad about insensitive things on a site that capitalizes in insensitivity, finding something funny isn't being a badass. Have fun defending mental health jokes on **** my life.
DylanHasClass 17
Awful!
kiaora_fml 11
Your dad and grandpa are insensitive dickwads. My husband is Autistic, there are varying degrees of autism, he has aspergers and I can tell you he isn't a fish in bed and is very active, he is the most considerate and talented lover I have had. What they don't know is autistic's are very focused and notice your turn on and turn offs quicker than the average person.
SchaferLawson 15
That is so wrong! Funny but wrong!
WarriorOmen 25
How is this funny?
78apollo78 3
Because she has an odd sense of humor, quit acting so offended
xxreikoxx 31
#93, we have every right to say something about your comment. If we want to be offended by your comment, then we're going to be offended by your comment. There's nothing funny about your comments at all.
skyline0392 8
That's great!!!
nialls_girl 13
Older men tend to be insenitive...sorry, OP.
ohdeohdeoh 3
Well they are jackasses. Hopefully no one who is autistic heard them.