Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Let her have her fun
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
Stuck
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
The downside of nepotism
Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML
Top comments
eash 10
That's horrible!!
604 11
Dafuq? ... That is beyond insensitive. It's downright rude! Karma will take care of them accordingly.
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Comments (62)
el_angelroca 15
That's terrible, but I can't help but to laugh at this fml, not because it's terrible, but because how ignorant they are
ldkindasucks 6
Guess we know who the true 'tards were at the charity
rabid_otaku 29
You do realize that by using that word as an insult you're still indirectly offending people with a disability? I get what you were trying to say, but you're actually calling autistic people as ignorant as OP's dad and grandpa, and though I can't speak for all of them since they are all individuals, most of them aren't.
kstephens2326 15
Awww that is just awful.
MzZombicidal 36
I'd punch them both in the throat.
bobslawnservice 16
So actual physical violence is somehow more acceptable than making jokes in bad taste these days? Do you realize just how backwards that is?
PresAgent 23
With hatred like that, some people don't deserve to speak. Have you heard of high-functioning Autism?
bobslawnservice 16
The only hatred is from the self righteous types. A joke in bad taste has nothing to do with hatred. If you think that being offended gives you the right to inflict physical harm on others then you should probably go join Isis and behead yourself a few random civilians to make yourself feel better.
interesting33 37
I get what you mean but I don't think that was a bad joke - it might not have been hatred but it was incredibly offensive and insensitive. It sounds like they did not think of people with Autism as human beings. I don't know about the violence thing - I get your point, but the sort of language they were using is disgraceful.
bobslawnservice 16
By the OP's own admission they didn't want to be there. They were probably feeling awkward and resorted to a bit of black humour to put themselves at ease. They made a personal joke between themselves which they probably didn't expect anyone else to hear.
xxreikoxx 31
Don't punch anybody in the throat, #19. No amount of ignorance and insensitivity is worth going to jail over, and two or more wrongs never make the first wrong right.
78apollo78 3
That's ******* hilarious, y'all are just sensitive
MzZombicidal 36
*shivers in the frigid winds of your badass attitude*
PresAgent 23
lmao bad troll is bad. Don't worry #22, you'll die sad and alone.
78apollo78 3
I didn't say that but ok
Tr0ub3l 12
how messed up is that..
prettyinpink4884 9
Your dad and grandpa shouldn't be at the event if they aren't supporting the cause.
bobslawnservice 16
They were merely making a few tasteless jokes to make an uncomfortable situation tolerable. People need to quit being so damn over-sensitive.
Slackness 10
Agreed, people look for situations to be offended by. It's just another nail for the coffin for the self righteous hammer waver.
Spark_Slicker 19
How exactly would you feel if you had Autism or any other mental condition where people constantly judge you and call you things like "retarded", and you went to an event specifically designed for people with that condition to be able to come together and show support, and there were people there making disgusting comments about people with your condition, spoiling the entire intent of that event? Maybe, just maybe, you would be somewhat sensitive about it.
meli1195 31
who said the situation was uncomfortable? and even if someone is in an uncomfortable situation, it is never ok to say such a disrespectful thing about others, especially if they are right there in hearing distance.
sicksadworld1317 30
@26- You sound like an increasingly sociopathic troll with every comment you write. Try having empathy; and accept the fact that people have the right to be upset when elements of bigotry are played off as a joke. Adults behaving this distastefully is not ok.
xxreikoxx 31
Just to let you know #26, I'm also autistic. People have a right to be "oversensitive," as you so believe that they are. They at least have more of a heart than you do, you prick.
bobslawnservice 16
See my reply #50. Also the world would be a much better place if everyone learned to laugh at themselves from time to time. I am involved with quadriplegics and if anything they have traght me that inappropriate gallows humour is often a great coping tool. Sociopathic indeed.
xxreikoxx 31
Your comments are going to be buried by thumbs-down very soon...that's usually an indication that you should quit whilst you're behind.
bobslawnservice 16
Being on the wrong side of Internet democracy isn't exactly something to be afraid of - after all it is responsible for Gungam Style.
RedPillSucks 33
@52 apparently, working with quadriplegics havent taught you empathy. laughing at yourself is different than other people derisively laughing at you. im sure you call the people you work with gimps
jamienicole1993 32
Wow, that's so disrespectful. Even if they were joking it's still not okay.
westboundcali 13
Lmao