Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
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Top comments
theSil 0
it won't be the last guy to do that
skyeyez9 25
I find purity rings a bit creepy, considering most purity rings are given to girls by their fathers. You can still hold your values and not have a "purity ring."
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Comments (157)
hockeyrocks39 0
Hahaha.... I like how the post is about purity and the website is **** My Life, some irony here, too funny.
cherrigirl 0
you guys are jerks. I respect people are waiting til marriage like God intended.
muffinkitty 15
thank you! :)
snipeshow 3
but god doesn't exist so why do you still believe in fairy tales?
HeaRTs_Girl 0
59: You mean how ordinary people who interpreted what was "said" to them and wrote a book about it intended? Is sad how the Bible is so terribly misunderstood.
AceArctic 4
Bow down to Mickey infidels!
CitrusGirl 0
People do it for other reasons besides religion. Calm yourself down, child.
TheB0a 5
Ah, a girl with a purity ring. I can respect that.
Hidan_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm not gonna lie. When I finished reading the FML, I actually said out loud "You deserved it."
cab227 2
FYL something wrong if he's only in it for sex even though your not dating him.
staymintyfresh 13
your giving atheists a bad reputation.
debatingalways 0
wow there are some ignorant douche bags on this fml. just because she wears a purity ring she's automatically a Jonas brothers fan? they also wear leather jackets...do you wear leather jackets....cause if so you MUST be in love with them too right? simple minded people are so sad. purity rings are much more serious than that and if she only wore one to follow her idol, she wounldnt have brought it up in such a conversation. furthermore, sex for some of us at least, is a big deal. it's something sacred between two people. just because society labels it OK to sleep around with everyone at your school doesnt make the OP any less of a person for choosing to believe otherwise.
Kng21 0
Thank you so much. Everyone else here doesn't get it!!! It's soo annoying!! Sex is definitely a big deal for me. I'm waiting til marriage.
BadSuerte 0
**** that douche. you don't need his small dick anyways. you'll find someone who respects you:)