Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
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Top comments
keverdeen 14
Monster in law....
godhelpusall111 12
What the hell did you do that for?
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Comments (124)
godhelpusall111 12
What the hell did you do that for?
NeatNit 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He didn't know, he thought he was just being lazy.
crazytwinsmom 25
She could have asked the daughter, instead of just assuming and being obnoxious.
The_Creeper_fml 8
She did it because she didn't want to change any of the stereotypes we have about inlaws.
BeforeItWasCool 12
21- Still very rude. If he had simply being lazy, the guy's a grown man, it's not of OP's business. No need to interfere like that OP!
hihome 7
Im sure a simple "Will your husband be getting up soon? Its almost noon." Would have worked 10x better.
dhenri 9
Either way, she was in his house, she shouldn't have been rude to him in his own house.
doctorhook86 25
OP is passive-aggressiveness at its worst.
b_rad_fml 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe it would have, but if the husband was lazy, asking first would have tipped off the daughter to the coming ambush. And OP couldn't let that happen.
Saikon1357 25
Doesn't excuse her for being a ****.
Harpy20 24
Well deserved.
cameron194 9
If I was the husband I probably would have done a lot more than just throw a shoe lol.. Nothing drastic, simply and calmly say "please get the **** out of my house.. If you're going to be this rude , obnoxious and intrusive .. You can stay away permanently"
jonnyBgoode 9
Dumb bitch!
keverdeen 14
Monster in law....
nickjam19 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Heh.
Harpy20 24
I used to work shifts that were 14+ hrs because I had two jobs. I would have been homicidal. She's lucky she only got the shoe.
Grauncho 27
Not **** your life, just **** you.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OP, you sound like you act like a typical mother in law. Always thinking the worst. Why?!
oceanrain 4
Who goes to visit people before noon anyways?
MelTheGreat 23
Rude-ass mother-in-laws.
gc327072 31
47- it's one thing to have a rude person, but when their ass is rude too, it's too much.
MelTheGreat 23
I've dealt with some rude asses in my life. Stinky, too.
AtomicRebirth 11
This is what you get for not only making dumb assumptions, but also making other people's living habits your business. YDI
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Bitch mother-in-law being a bitch. You have no damned right to call the man your daughter has chosen to spend her life with a "lazy ass." Get ******.
botanistjessica 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I feel like "get ******" should have been deemed an encouraging statement rather than an insult. Who doesn't want to be ******, anyways?
lilhellian 27
people with chasity belts?
saksxalmo 20
Asexuals, children, and inmates in prison.
dead247 13
pretty sure inmates in prison want to get ******. just not by other inmates....well majority.
LemonLolly 10
You should have waited till he was up to ask him, not acted like a total bitch
jojimugo 20
Actually I don't think she has a right to ask a grown man in his house why he is sleeping in
ICastillo 25
See what happens when you're a ass. He put a foot in your mouth for you.
Bakarra 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Huh, and you wonder why you two are separated... maybe cuz you're a judgemental ass-face?
capslockisgood 19
Re-read the FML.