Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Demon child
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Clever boy
Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML
911 is a joke
Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Top comments
Denikk 0
What a little bitch... I hate spoiled kids... -.-
clm123455 14
What an emergency.
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Comments (128)
Denikk 0
What a little bitch... I hate spoiled kids... -.-
ninjaboy18 6
I like how op's name goes with the fml.
Grimmerie 31
12 - it's not like OP could have done that purposely, is it?
Internut 6
Before you know it the kid will be constructing a weather machine to kill all the broccoli.
kevsnev 7
I hate picky eaters.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
The kid might not necessarily be spoiled. I can't tell you how many times I've heard parents complain that their children won't eat their vegetables, and then find out that they're trying to feed them plain, bland, flavorless mush. Even I wouldn't eat that! Now, calling the police is extreme, but we don't know how old the child was and whether the call was due to a sincere belief that it's the right thing to do, or if he knew he shouldn't but did it anyway.
ninjadinos 14
One time, I was baby sitting a little girl and asked her very nicely to eat her vegetables. She looked straight at me and said "you one uptight mudderfucker" and left the table.
icrest80 4
Kids say the darnedest things
mnmolino 14
38- family guy references are the best XD
clm123455 14
59: cool story bro. Tell it again.
ninjadinos 14
Okay. One time, I was babysitting a little girl and very nicely asked her to eat her vegetables. She looked right up at me and said "you one uptight mudderfucker" and left the table.
Awesomehobo44 3
All right normally I'm opposed to those that hate little kids, but this time I understand why under these circumstances
minisquid 9
ninjadinos, you win the Troll Killer of the Month award.
loney_pilot_boy 2
106 - needs more dragons
eriksen 16
Spoiled child
thiscrazything 1
Ok, well she did say she "made" him eat his veggies. Maybe she pinned him to the floor and for e fed him brussel sprouts. That would be just cause.
SmoshFan6 0
Same man. This one time, I was on my bus, and this obnoxious first grader came and sat next to me. The whole time she was punching, pinching and biting me.
Whitesound 3
No one likes your comments do they? I've seen like 5 of yours. They're either buried or on the way.
waitwhatsgoingon 18
66 I was just about to say the same thing!
Whitesound 3
71, Ya I point out the obvious
clm123455 14
Way to tell him, 66!
Webslinger66 10
I hate how the first comment is worse than this and it has alot of thumbs up. Thumbs up to this dude
j_cat187 20
Spoiled like the carton of milk left behind the dryer.
kansah 25
Wow some kids are little brats.
ICATiger 13
Like you?
clm123455 14
Don't be rude.
kansah 25
#13, I don't like you.
ICATiger 13
Sorry 14 it's just that this kid used suicide in a joke. Which I find very disrespectful and sad.
Furrywhiplash 14
24- then thumb the suicide joke down and comment rudely on that, don't create a personal grudge because of it. Now you look like the disrespectful one for bashing him on a completely innocent comment. And maybe he feels bad about making the suicide joke, maybe he didn't think that much into it. Either way, find out more about a person before you decide to hate them.
clm123455 14
I don't think anyone likes them.
clm123455 14
What an emergency.
SkoomaKi 28
What a little bastard.
clm123455 14
Haha, i feel sorry for the parents if that is what he does to the sitter!!
mashimarox 12
better retire from that one.
emvictoria 9
Lol my younger sister did that to me while a was looking after her! It was so embarrassing when they police rocked up! They had no idea what was going on.
stompic 2
Go vegan !!!!! haha, FYL, dude =) maybe he/sge was allergic...
philipino 24
The child's parents probably would have told OP I the child was allergic. Go vegans? What does this have to do with the FML?
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
He/she* Sorry I had to. Lol
tomatorawr3 0
Or the child was just a little shitling.
ninjaboy18 6
I wonder how the 911 operator responded
clm123455 14
Kid, eat your veggies or you die!!!
Honestly_Lainey 21
"help me. I'm hiding under the table. My baby sitter want me to eat my veggies. *whispers* she's in the room!!!" "I'm sending help right away. Stay hidden"
iheartprinceroyc 4
I know right
mama2b3 20
You bitch!
clm123455 14
The kid or the sitter? The sitter was simply looking out for the kid! I'm sure the kids mom appreciated it despite the fuzz!
Furrywhiplash 14
I believe she is jokingly yelling at OP for feeding the kid vegetables. I don't think she is being serious at all, so I think it is at least a little bit humorous. Humorous enough to get a thumbs up from me.
mama2b3 20
Thankyou 56 :)
dabomb1463 0
Kids do the darnedest things