Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste." Gag me. FML
Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
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Top comments
tj4234 36
I'm interested to know, what was new to you?
OysterPearls 33
You can't Google what you don't know you didn't know.
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Comments (95)
MrConcise 35
Insert rod A into slot B is the extent of your knowledge?
Polynomial 28
I prefer slot A.
RedPillSucks 33
without getting flange C wet
MrConcise 35
And if there's a problem, don't call technical support. She won't want to talk to you.
SubparAtBest 23
i'd like to phone a friend instead. Jimmy always knows what to do!
mustangbravo 27
Then maybe it's a blessing in disguise.
sstahpp 33
It can't be that hard, right? :/
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm guessing OP has the habit of saying things that suggest they don't know that much about sex. Enough that a co-worker thought it best to explain a few things.
ThatHorse 15
If most of it was new to you, either your coworker is batshit insane or you should still be a virgin.
Nysha 17
That's crap - OP lives in Texas, unless they've spent a serious amount of time reading about sex on the internet they've probably had zero opportunity to learn this stuff.
jadenjacksonm 14
I'm curious as to how this discussion started.
worldclassrager 41
Well maybe with your next partner you can put those things to work
Zebediabolical 45
And this is why we need sex-ed in schools as opposed to LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS and ABSTINENCE ONLY.
Norvi 26
I had sex ed in school. It teaches where babies come from, not what shenennagins are and are not good ideas.
chocolatejunebug 9
Which is kinda the problem. We don't just need to know the absolute basics on how kids are made and what menstruation is, but also how to actually have good, consensual sex.
leogachi 15
You really need to learn how to have good sex on your own because different people like different things. Consensual sex, though, should be taught in school because too many people don't know what it means.
Zebediabolical 45
You should learn the biology and mechanics in school, as well as prevention of STI, unwanted pregnancy, what consent is, and just importantly what consent /isn't/, how to put on a condom, how to take off a condom, etc. It should also be a safe place for the kids to ask their legitimate questions and get straight unbiased honest answers. The questions the kids ask are the things the kids want to know. Telling them 'Ask your parents' or 'We only teach abstinence' is a cop-out. How many kids at that age are comfortable asking their parents about specific sex acts? That sort of cop-out will lead many of them to do half-assed research on the internet or expect **** to be a reasonable facsimile of what sex is. The movie 'Sex Ed' on netflix is a pretty good starting point for what sex-ed should look like in a modern school.
Razell 13
How to prevent unwanted pregnancies: Step 1: Don't have intercourse with a member of the opposite sex.
AngryBovine 14
take any advice you can get then verify it
kingnothing123x 11
New skills have fun :3