Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste." Gag me. FML
Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
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Top comments
tj4234 36
I'm interested to know, what was new to you?
OysterPearls 33
You can't Google what you don't know you didn't know.
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Comments (95)
tj4234 36
I'm interested to know, what was new to you?
greekk 21
Yes please share haha!
WhoopteDo 26
Obviously OP found out how babies are made.
mds9986 24
I'm more interested in why the coworker was giving OP the talk? In what context would that possible come up?
Enslaved 38
Someone once told me to put a few drops of KY in the inside of a condom. It made the experience so much better for my BF and helped not pull his hairs when he removes it. There's always room to learn new things!
Cads1 24
I was told to turn the ribbed condom inside out, that way it is ribbed for my pleasure.
Enslaved 38
You have got to be ribbing me! Lol
Feklfekl2222 32
I'm not too sure why but ribbed condoms inside out are more likely to tear :/
Zebediabolical 45
Instead of paying extra for roughrider condoms, buy a pack of regular condoms and a bag of frozen peas. All the pleasure, a fraction of the price. And you have the rest of the peas for a snack later.
Headcrab 29
"the clito... What?"
Sangue0608 26
#27 I'm not even sure what to say to that.
RedPillSucks 33
what #27, you're gonna waste the peas that were in the condom?
Zebediabolical 45
I'm not going to eat them. But if she wants to, more power to her!
Sansa_fml 38
The penis goes inside the ******. what, that's new!
Xandrick 22
@Headcrab ********? I've never heard of that Pokemon.
princessace13 19
You learn something new everyday
nataliewby 25
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle
HUGBUG 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
U could've just googled that shit
OysterPearls 33
You can't Google what you don't know you didn't know.
MrsPegg 45
17, now you've given me an idea: Google "Google, teach me what I don't know, that I dont know I need to know." Hmm....
Cads1 24
You should date her and find out how good this new information is!
bdsmslave 18
Unless she's so old that OP needs to use a bookmark to find the "right spot" among all the other wrinkles. Maybe she's 90 and just sharing the wisdom that comes with the years. Then it may be an entirely different story.
LunaaBluee 27
I don't think you know what a ****** is...
Cads1 24
Still give it a go, what do you have to loose?
bdsmslave 18
Trust me, #36, I am well aware. I made a ha-ha.
SadSouthernBell 18
Maybe she wants to give you private lessons.
varzenbot 2
this is my thought also...she want's the D OP
Krwman 8
Hey, I'm 64 and have five children aged 2 to 40 and based on what I read on FML I don't know crap.
lovelockdown23 23
hand clap for you for keeping it going real talk. a 2 year old that's work. and yeah things change over the years.
lovelockdown23 23
Yeah things change over the years. I just read something about putting peas in a condom.
MdMan2 23
Like 1 said, it's pretty weird that your coworker would give you the talk. Although the stuff is new to you, I wouldn't say your life is permanently screwed OP.
tormcn 26
Nothing wrong with learning some hot new tips!
devildog562 33
For some reason this comment made me think of all those magazines by the checkout stand . "Have hot sex today", "hot tips for him and her", so on and so forth .
tormcn 26
I was reading cosmo when I made my comment.
AirBusDriver 23
Cosmo is responsible for a lot of unplanned pregnancies, ask my ex! haha
joelp232 17
nothing wrong with getting sex advice
leogachi 15
There is something wrong with unsolicited sex advice if you're over 18. Although why you wouldn't want to learn all that you can before you ever have sex is beyond me.