Today, my cousin's three kittens peed all over every single pair of shoes under my desk, including some expensive heels. I spent two and a half hours cleaning all eighteen pairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, as I was getting dressed for my big date, my cat pooped on my only shoes. FML
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
"Today, I worked hard fortifying the premises against predators only to find out that my human's cousin undid 36 bunkers worth of work. FML"
sambmjmdjj 9
I just can't bring myself to say "your life sucks" to someone who has 18 pairs of shoes "including some expensive heels".
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Comments (13)
RichardPencil 32
“I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” How does washing cat piss off of 18 pairs of shoes stack up?
rorex 26
You wash 18 pairs of shoes covered in cat piss, I'm sure you'll be delighted to do it.
Nova Solarius 10
I know I'd prefer it to having no shoes at all.
RichardPencil 32
I don’t have 18 pairs of shoes, Ivanka!
Inkoseh 33
Just because someone is worse off, doesn't invalidate another's problems. By your standards I should never ******* complain about anything because I wasn't tortured or killed in the holocaust, right?
Tripartita 45
"Today, I worked hard fortifying the premises against predators only to find out that my human's cousin undid 36 bunkers worth of work. FML"
sambmjmdjj 9
I just can't bring myself to say "your life sucks" to someone who has 18 pairs of shoes "including some expensive heels".
raven_of_azarath 35
I can get the 18 pairs of shoes, cuz lots of people have that many. What gets me is why OP was keeping them under their desk instead of in a closet, especially with kittens in the house.
Nova Solarius 10
Why do you even have so many shoes? Isn't one set of foot armour enough?
Inkoseh 33
Same argument could be said about shirts. Why so many different kinds? I mean, one shirt does it, just wash and reuse, or buy all the same basic, $3 shirt! People like different things, people like variety. Shoes, Clothes, Hats, decor, games, etc..
sumocj 14
What a bummer. Now you have an excuse to buy more shoes!
Bubbilility 27
That's 36 shoes, no one needs that many shoes. And how did they all fit under your desk?
Demon_of_Light 27
I hate to tell you this, OP, but those aren't your shoes anymore. They belong to the kittens now. Better luck next time.