Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
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Top comments
AmyBeth 0
Wtf ?!
NGM_47 0
I wonder what you guys talked about after that, it must have been reeeeaaaaally awkward =/
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Comments (163)
Chubtubdaplaya 0
ewww
elara15 0
That's wonderfully enlightened of you. Don't have children, in case you end up judging them for their differences.
bloodthorn 4
YDI for having a cross dressing dad. that's ******* disgusting
beardo8 0
A condom (pronounced /ˈkɒndəm/ (US) or /ˈkɒndɒm/ (UK)) is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs—such as gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV). It is put on a man's erect penis and physically blocks ejaculated semen from entering the body of a sexual partner. Because condoms are waterproof, elastic, and durable, they are also used in a variety of secondary applications. These include collection of semen for use in infertility treatment as well as non-sexual uses such as creating waterproof microphones[1] and protecting rifle barrels from clogging.[2] In the modern age, condoms are most often made from latex, but some are made from other materials such as polyurethane, or lamb intestine. A female condom is also available, most often made of polyurethane. As a method of contraception, male condoms have the advantage of being inexpensive, easy to use, having few side effects, and of offering protection against sexually transmitted diseases.[3][4] With proper knowledge and application technique—and use at every act of intercourse—users of male condoms experience a 2% per-year pregnancy rate.[5] Condoms have been used for at least 400 years.[6]:51,54-5 Since the nineteenth century, they have been one of the most popular methods of contraception in the world.[6]:173-4 While widely accepted in modern times, condoms have generated some controversy, primarily over what role they should play in sex education classes. Additionally, improper disposal of condoms contributes to litter problems,[7] and the Roman Catholic Church generally opposes condom use.[8]
ohnoyouDINT 0
that's retarded. He's a cool person because he wears a dress? He could be a total asshole for all you know...
hefox 0
actually I agree wit #35 about possible assholeness mostly cause keeping things in can lead to.. negative feelings, and by the surprise of the person my guess is their papa may hay been keeping things in. Also, I've seen a few documentaries/books where it mentions some transgendered people and some crossdressers overdo it presenting as their biological sex when they're still 'in the closet' for obvious cloakish reasons, and the present male gender role is a bit.. strict from what I've read. Saying that, I'm very pro-transgendered, crossdressing, etc... gender presentation and identities, etc.
exit_arsenic 0
@#19 you are an idiot. if you feel like randomly copying sections of wikipedia or some other information site and posting it just to be a douche, at least choose RELEVANT information, like "cross-dressing" or "mrs. doubtfire." considering that this is a MAN dressed up as a WOMAN alone in his house, i really don't think that "condom" fits the situation, do you?
Unregistered 0
. . . . I dont think you can really say that until it is your dad who is "cross-dressing" and your as old as the OP is considiring he still lives with his dad he must be still in high school. Would you seriously not freak out if you found out your dad is a cross-dresser?
dyld921 2
Maybe, but you wouldn't be freaked out enough to act that way. Have some tolerant. If for example, your son/brother/uncle tell him he was gay/transgendered, would you use derogatory words on him and call him 'disgusting'? Let's hope not.
lmmmr 0
I would not freak out if my dad dressed as a woman once in awhile in his free time. Who ******* cares? It's his life, he can get his kicks however he wants.
Unregistered 0
well lmr you cant really know that until its ******* happened so dont spew bull shit over the interenet about "ya i wouldnt freak out"
Unregistered 0
Dyld. . . the thing is his father didnt "tell him" he had to find out by himself theres a diffrence between being told and finding out
lmmmr 0
Yes, I can and do know that, because I know myself and how I react to various things. It's a trait associated with maturing beyond 14, so I can see why you wouldn't understand. I know what I value in life and what I don't, and homophobia and fear of difference are not things that I value, while my father's happiness certainly is. Perhaps if you spent your time coming to terms with human differences rather than "spewing bullshit on the internet" you would mature a little bit.
cheer_leader247 0
you said asshat. you are automatically my best friend xD
superfiedman 0
a. I don't think it's disgusting, it's just a little disorienting to come home to hung over and such. b. my friends are of all different sexualities, so it's not like it's a gigantic deal. it just was fml material, the way it happened.
0___0 9
Yeah and I'm not even straight and I think this is a FML who wants to see their dad dressed like a woman? That's something that I would rather not find out my dad is into.... I mean there's nothing wrong with it I guess but that's a really awkward thing to come home to. Plus my parents aren't divorced or anything and don't even have sex anymore so wtf that would give me creepy thoughts.
CyclonePsycho 1
It's not about tolerance, it's about being caught by surprise. Like the OP said, he was hungover and nine times out of ten, people simply don't expect to see their father dressed as a woman. It's safe to say the moment was a little awkward and a little foreign. Doesn't make him a bad person.
RPGod 0
Well then...
superfiedman 0
he was wearing a wig and fake boobs.
FreddyLunch 0
Haha, I wish he had posted Mrs. Doubtfire, it would be really funny.
marleesharpie 0
I love Mrs. Doubtfire. :P And I really don't get how this is an FML. There's nothing wrong with cross-dressing, and thinking YOUR life is ****** because you have a parent that does it shows you're incredibly closed-minded.
sarah_berah 0
Its not so wrong per say as weird to find YOUR DAD in a dress...just unexspectedly. And since it does say "after a long night" and he came at noon, the OP probablywas not in the clearest state of mind anyway. It be weird to walk in on no matter your view on cross dressing.
yeahsurre 0
hahaha, #19's a dumbass!! lfmao!
efwiz 0
I will go out on a limb here and say there IS something wrong with coming home one day to find out your 40?-something Dad is a secret crossdresser, no matter what the everything-is-okay-don't-judge-anyone crowd says.
Rouge_Plague 0
That is relevant, you just gotta see how it is. Maybe they put the whole condom definition there as another way of saying, the parent's of the OP's dad should have used them.
NeoJoe 0
no I disagree, if you're a father (or even if you just have a wife) then you shouldn't be cross dressing
frannytrois64 0
Hahah yeah, compy and paste stuff from Wikipedia (or whatever) and paste it here when it isn't even relevant.
JuroBear 0
I prefer the movie white chicks. Plu,s it wasn't him cross dressing it was his other personality duh!
doritoninja 4
I suppose a **** punt is out of the question
AmyBeth 0
Wtf ?!
DresdenB17 0
fake
girandwogpig 0
**** u man. What are you the fake police?
elara15 0
I always wonder what people expect to get from calling out FMLs. In college, I went home with my roommate when her father wasn't expecting her and caught him dressed like a woman. He ran from the room and made us promise not to tell her mother. Considering the OP wrote that the "woman" whipped around, that sounds like being caught. That makes it seem legit, as opposed to the father kindly opening the door for his son.
Flip3289 9
well you had to find out at some point.
jessxoxo28 5
...okkkkk....thats disturbing
NGM_47 0
I wonder what you guys talked about after that, it must have been reeeeaaaaally awkward =/
superfiedman 0
We didn't talk the rest of the day. We didn't really avoid each other, we just didn't interact anymore. I stuck to my room and he to his.
selenes 0
maybe your dad's trying to help you get lucky?
thtnerdykid 0
#8 Ftw
technicolourain1 0
haha :))
tinyphreak 0
No doubt about it, a solid FML.
maria12_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your daddy has got a mangina!!! WOO! Your life suckssss. Hopefully your dad is separated from your mom.
DElor 0
Oh god
Peroxide 3
is that you old gregg?
romaunts 0
Cross dressing doesn't make you gay, so why would it matter if he and the OP's mom were separated? It's not a bad thing... but it /would/ be awkward and maybe a little disturbing catching your parent like that. I'm very open-minded, but it would be strange to see my dad in drag. Though, I guess your life is far from ******, OP. Heck, he has more of a reason to feel that way, since he got caught and you apparently think your life is ****** because of it.
Unregistered 0
:o is he divorced? and if so do you see his girl friends naked ? ^.^