Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
girl on fire
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Ep1cF4ce
United States
Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML
Anonymous
Today, I woke up to the fire department at my house. Why? My brother called 911 thinking there was a fire after turning the heat on for the first time all winter. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
meh beard
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Bowmanville, Canada
I'm awake
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
whymyroomthough
San Francisco, United States
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Elephant1718
The Dalles, United States
Make it stop
Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML
desertpunk75
United States
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
Release the tapes!
Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML
NikkiiFireStarter
United Kingdom
Today, I found out my 10 year-old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including a £600 guitar. FML
Top comments
Awesomeaxel 24
Calm down. He was just performing the sacrificial ritual.
tantanpanda 26
He must really want you to be warm and toasty :)
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Comments (67)
TheSFgamer 14
Some brother
couchcat 25
I'd beat his ass and call the police. No one messes with my beauty sleep.
brookenicolee29 27
I see some therapy in your brothers future..
caleb_ohs 8
You mean in hers. Right?
magickitten 26
OP is male....
tbro47 23
Not sure how much therapy will help someone trying to set their sibling on fire, but couldn't hurt I guess. Time to make sure the smoke detectors in the room work
tantanpanda 26
He must really want you to be warm and toasty :)
xleanne_aLly 23
Nopee I bet theyre in a prank war. OP if you're reading this and I'm right. Either wave the white flag now. Your brother goes to hard trying to top your last prank. OR next time he's playing COD with his head phones in. You can set off some fire crackers behind him. Or slip hot sauce in his food. Check out prank vs prank. Some pretty good pay back ideas
ArturoRamirez 16
Warm and toasty enough to burn him alive and kill him.
incoherentrmblr 22
Home made cremation at its finest...
WattledParsley 11
Or set off the fire crackers ON him
Thinkitthrough 23
Well I guess you know not to anger him anymore. Or you could get him help. This really depends on his age.
trippygit 11
Hmm today i'll set my brother on fire for a laugh. Said no one ever
Awesomeaxel 24
Calm down. He was just performing the sacrificial ritual.
igive 29
For the latest COD map pack.
Kramer1998 20
No, just no, we don't sacrifice humans anymore you pagan
grimpeeper 13
Take a joke.
emmatheamazingx 17
Nice and toasty(:
kindasortayeah 25
Well, I guess it worked
annarcheer 19
time to lock your bedroom door.
Lustig_Junge 16
You should probably alert your parents so they can deal with this and get help. You don't want him to become a future arsonist/killer.