Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
grapist 0
danget fail for me and cre8or99
grapist 0
danget fail for me and cre8or99
Mrrevorp 0
what if it wasn't? you just broke a ferrets back you dick
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Off topic, but your picture made me laugh my ass off.
Mrrevorp 0
lmao it issssss pretty awesome
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Haha sure is xD
amrik 11
atleast It didn't snap in half
KY_Jelly 10
I've never bent a ferret backwards, it seems like a bad idea. And it isn't that bad OP, it's not like you accidentally killed it or anything.
cptmorgan6 8
OP just wanted to see if it would be able to navigate its way through their anal cavity smoothly.
monzach 5
Lemmiwinks!!!
lindon555 0
FART ATTACK
fruitmasterpuff 2
WIN!
Ghostkiller12345 9
guess what? Shut up attack for both of you
lindon555 0
guess wat? be quiet with all ur shut up shit okay?
Ghostkiller12345 9
**** off man dont wanna hear you
lindon555 0
awww are u scared? u probably are cuz ur a pussy bitch
spazticechidna 2
Ferrets are the creepiest animals ever.
leemurcat 5
They're cute you suck
CryMoreFMLs 15
Ferrets are epic. You obviously got raped as a child by a man that had a penis thats similar to a ferret.
Shadow4i5 3
that exact man who raped u got an FML account n is under the username *crymorefmls*
itsgen 16
i want a pet ferret!!
Feedmyaddiction5 14
don't let OP by it
Reddeaded 5
no you don't they smell terrible and the shit like crazy
Reddeaded 5
no you don't they smell terrible and the shit like crazy
CryMoreFMLs 15
I have 3 ferrets and highly reccomend them. + Adorable as hell + Funny to watch + Fun to play with + Incredibly social and friendly. - Shit everywhere - Stink really bad sometimes - might develop bad addictions* - Not many ferret vets around. +/- Need atleast 2. 3 is the best though. ***One of mine had a wire chewing addiction. (Bless his heart, RIP) and another I have is addicted to that silicone. **My first ferret passed on to accidental causes, not his addiction.
t_fml 11
karma