Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
Real funny
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML
Genius
Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Top comments
gracehi 33
Your brother is a moron.
ilovemsminaj 13
You should tell him that the disease literally makes your blood boil. Probably one of the most painful ways to die
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
clue_me_in 20
How privileged of him to make a comment like that.
The_Burrito_Guy 6
If someone could naturally fight off Ebola, that would be awesome. But tell him that he would only have 2 weeks to do it.
shelbycobra0991 8
Yeah, because bleeding out of your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and anus until you fall out and die is worth the couple of weeks of fame that you would endure lol.
Princera 5
That sounds actually really smart
Jenniesaurus 14
"I wonder if you'll love it when you're bleeding from every orifice and you're completely delusional before your inevitable death"
VanessaNal 13
You're brother is a ******* idiot. Can he seriously be that clueless?
Glasshoney 9
Please tell me you slapped him. lol
Emmamazing 26
That's stupid
fantasyworld 39
He's an idiot.
ixschmidt 13
How is this deserving of being published on "fml" this is horseshit