Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML
Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML
Today, months after a severe poison ivy rash, I have learned that I now have a very intense poison ivy allergy. As in, any exposure to poison ivy at all will cause my face, hands, thighs, and groin to swell up and itch madly for up to a week. FML
Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second talk with our mother. I got an allergic reaction to the lotion used to ease the pain. My mother said I was overreacting. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
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Top comments
Jerry Leberer 12
at least you found out now before you got it somewhere.
tounces7 28
I mean....how? Did your brother sit on it completely bare-assed or something? I mean was he wiping with it too? I'm failing to understand the mechanics of this.
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Comments (18)
Boyufd 25
this is like the other FML, when OP caught her boyfriend bending over for their neighbor's teenage son
tounces7 28
I mean....how? Did your brother sit on it completely bare-assed or something? I mean was he wiping with it too? I'm failing to understand the mechanics of this.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Could have happened if OP's bro and boyfriend were getting it on outside.
blightsight 10
the brother and boyfriend were having anal sex
tounces7 28
Yes I understood the sex part....however the parts that would be touching each other, would not typically be the parts that also touch the poison Ivy unless you really just rubbed it all up in there.
EmDizzle2007 28
you ain't the only one.
Alexiskovich 6
The OP's bf and younger brother are *******. The OP's bf ****** the younger brother in the ass and got poison ivy.
Jerry Leberer 12
at least you found out now before you got it somewhere.
Charlie Given 28
Apparently the call of nature is strong with those two 🤣🤣
_Hakuna_Matata_ 12
Well, maybe, just maybe your younger brother sat on your boyfriends lap accidentally in a steam room? (FRIENDS for reference XD)
EggyDogger 13
Hol up
boredgirl_02 14
He could have slapped him on the ass in a good game type a way and then touched himself. I got it cause my ex or my dog walked in it and somehow whatever my hands touched got it.
silentbabydeer 10
Why in the world is there so many FML that their own relative had stabbed them in the back by sleeping with their boyfriend/girlfriend? What’s wrong with these relatives?
thatslifeiguess7 16
I know FML is like a soap opera
dwight7476 11
At least you didn’t find out about from somebody else
Chazzster 32
Why is boyfriend not now your ex-boyfriend?