Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I was given my Covid-19 test results after a friend and I went to take one. I had been sneezing and having fevers lately, and out of solidarity, my friend also took the test to give me the courage to do so. I tested negative, but my friend didn't. FML
Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
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Top comments
RavagedSoul 0
Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.
DocBastard 40
I have a feeling that you're the same person who says "You too!" to the check-in person at the airport when she tells you to "Have a nice flight".
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Comments (115)
demonkitty69 0
lol that sucks, way to be a dick :p
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
what's up with every first comment being lame obviois and unffy?! ever tried being original?!
fweefwee09 0
I agree with 5..You'll soon be "too many negative"
mlb58 0
That one of those moments when you're like, "shit..." as soon as it leaves your mouth. This happens to me when I talk to any girl...haha
LiveLaughFML 10
you should have been a negative nelly about the situation :-P
Marcella1016 32
Who care what the first comment says? if someone wants to leave a comment let them say what they want. I bet you two are the types who yelled "FIRST!" in "creative" ways when FML first came out. "You're probably not the FIRST to be insensitive about HIV!" -_-
mduffy08 8
Congratulations... You have aids!
GTAmerc 2
Thank you 51! It amazes me what gets disliked here. It's so easy to piss people off.
TheWindowLicker 13
5, ever tried typing a comment without leaving out half the letters of a word?!
rallets 23
i hate to tell you this but you have AIDS
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
I try to but my Ipod auto-corrects myself and I didn't reread myself. I'll do an extra effort next time so everybody will understand my message. Have a nice day.
RavagedSoul 0
Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.
leadman1989 16
Right. He should have quietly started taking bets. "Oh shit that sounds horrible. Quick something sweet to not sound like an ass" Which he could then donate it to a charity. :D
Connor02 0
And duct tape is silver
jellyD 1
Yeah. Duct tape, real or virtual is the way to go!
schrodingersdog 4
He should have said, "think positively." Then it's describing how he should think, not how the test turns out. You see, grammar matters.
loopsy_fml 14
53, what is your picture supposed to be?
theTrollGuy 7
#63, It's an upside down dog. It's Rollin'. You hatin?
Marcella1016 32
"Good luck" or "Hope for the best" probably would have worked lol Reminds me of a joke I heard way back in middle school. "Hey do you have AIDS?" "Hell no!" "Are you sure? "Yes!" "Are you positive?" "Yes! Wait...oh shit..."
Marcella1016 32
*That should've said HIV not AIDS.
zoeypony98 0
Well, that sucks. Where did your mental filter go? Hahaha...
theTrollGuy 7
Wherever yours is gone?
22cute 17
Ha ha ha yeah, you suck! Oops! Hope not! Maybe you should get tested yourself!
ilovedramahehe 7
Its okay, everyone makes mistakes.
Muffin_Man_321 0
Why do you make comments at all when they're that stupid?
deviable 9
I wouldn't be throwing stones if I were you muffin man.
mj_ok 9
Jessica and Hyoyeon(:
ilovedramahehe 7
Hell yeah Nicole! :)
Ecklcakes 15
Apparently OP's friend did.
Georick7 19
Everyone has those days
cptmorgan6 8
Is he (HIV) positive he wants to get tested?
ohmandapants 17
What?
LiveLaughFML 10
no. his friend wanted to get tested for HIV because it's become such a worldwide thing now. sadly, a lot of people have been getting it so his friend wanted to make sure he wasn't one of those people. :(
Miss_Michaela 10
I'm positive that was a bad pun.
cptmorgan6 8
Haha yes it was. I had to do it though. South Park reference.
cash_monkey72 9
I think I'm the only person who liked your comment
lilemmy55 10
Appologize to your friendd . Then buy him lunch? :3
Wheredidgrungego 12
And lots of condoms.
leadman1989 16
7 - And op should return the barbershop quartet costume he bought so he could do that song from family guy. "You have AIDS"
fweefwee09 0
A good luck might have been better.
fthislyfe 22
The positive thing about an HIV test is being negative! I hope your friend understands that :)
waycool 10
Really..
Vaginabutter 15
smooth move exlax
mea_iloveskiing 26
Now we can't use puns because OP has already done it :)