Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom taking the dog to the vet, when he peed on me. We were taking him there because he hadn't peed in three days. FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Seems like urine a bad place so you probably need a cool down. But hey it's Christmas and puppies are awesome!
margie2194 12
Hey at least you have an adorable puppy for the holidays. Happy holidays, love!
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Comments (95)
xxDefiantxx 0
this is why i like cats
flockz 20
he's just making sure you won't leave him. he wants to be with you forever. this is how he bonds.
Right_Click 12
It's okay. He's marking you as his territory. Now he won't run away like all the other bastard dogs here on FML.
Amrel 10
Name him sir pees alot
armywife0609 4
he's a puppy he probably just got scared.
Kelsarella 1
Or excited
DocBastard 40
That's what you get for letting the dog drive. He was probably just scared. Oh come on, read the last sentence again, people. ******* dangling participle.
fancyclown 9
Hey man, there's plenty of dogs that can drive. For example, Brain from Inspector Gadget, Scooby Doo, and uh.. Dog The Bounty Hunter.
EmilyXPatricia 4
Why would you listen to her? You'd rather have the dog take a shit in your car than in a crate?
hateevryone 15
why not put him in the backseat? you don't have to necessarily have him in your lap.
Kelsarella 1
Then the puppy would pee and poop on the back seats. It would be harder to clean the seats than to wash OP's pants.
dragynfyre 4
well for one, its a baby, its going to make a mess. its also much safer to have it crated while in the car,you could have gotten into an accident. and its much easier to clean shit out of a crate than car seats... YDI
thatonedame 6
Most states require you restrain your pets. Not that they enforce it. They are a worse distraction than children. Once you hand over the money, it's YOUR puppy. Use your best judgement in it's care. Don't listen to someone who will exploit their pets reproductive system for cash.
Rawrrrrx3 4
I think she knew exactly what would happen on that long drive home lol. At least in time he will have better control!a