Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom taking the dog to the vet, when he peed on me. We were taking him there because he hadn't peed in three days. FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Seems like urine a bad place so you probably need a cool down. But hey it's Christmas and puppies are awesome!
margie2194 12
Hey at least you have an adorable puppy for the holidays. Happy holidays, love!
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Comments (95)
margie2194 12
Hey at least you have an adorable puppy for the holidays. Happy holidays, love!
UrLyfSuxx 0
If she said he would piss , why put him on your lap ?
blackbelt25 12
Because she said that he'll piss for sure if you put him in a cage
changesinme 0
She trolled you on Christmas!
UrLyfSuxx 0
But how would putting him on your lap change it ? More comfortable then a cage I guess ?
FarSide 23
Sounds defective. See if you can return the pup for a refund or exchange!
kyarush 10
Only in Canada...
RadPenny 6
bitches be crazy :/
mrmakefunofu 5
As I always say... Better pissed off then pissed on... Oh wait...
BLINKROCKSMYLIFE 0
Holy crap I'm first
Buttsexpirate 9
Seems like urine a bad place so you probably need a cool down. But hey it's Christmas and puppies are awesome!
mw3pwner 0
Win!
Checker 20
Exactly what happened to me when I got my dog
samaroo0 0
I love doggies
silentbutfunny 0
Mine threw up over my lap :/
MormonPornstar 7
A dog will never pee or poop where it must stay/sleep. Learn about the animal before you decide to get one... Put a box in the crate that takes up 3/4 the area of the crate, or as needed for your dog size.
MikeDa1Da 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a shitty situation.
Zmeilerr 22
What an overused pun.
Checker 20
No, no, no, no. Just... No.
cj7geojeep 0
Why would anyone even attempt those lame jokes anymore? Btw Fyl op...not a good way to spend a long drive :/
MikeDa1Da 14
5- you comment is a shitty situation
MikeDa1Da 14
Wow... I am honored to have THE KaySL comment on my post. I would like to thank my iPhone for making this all possible, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, God, Jesus, my dog Coco, my grandparents, my family and friends, and myself.
osiris39p 3
Did you rly just diss your own comment? Woah we got a badass over here!
Gringe 1
I dont think he knows it was his comment... He refered to himself as 5.
ThatFml 5
Urine a sticky situation.
THE_A_TEEN 28
That sucked so much it gave me cancer. Go in the "horrible pun" corner!
PeeblesWiggins 0
31, I'm afraid that corner is all filled up.
Miss_Attitude96 24
You may be dirty and smelly now, but it's all worth it. You get an adorable puppy that'll love you forever. :-)
thisismerr 0
Till it gets hit by a truck.
Jaxx66 21
Or hopefully lives to old age and dies of natural causes. I had a dog get hit by a car. I loved her. Beautiful black lab. My dad opened the door after I left and she chased me across the street, I yelled stay and tried so hard to stop her. The car hit her, drug her and kept going. It was terrible. The sounds still haunt me when I think about it. :( sorry for sad story time.
brown4lifejot 1
Awwwww :'( that just about made me cry
a_tadych593 0
was it a cute puppy?(:
DontClickOnMe 28
Of course. All puppies are cute. Duh!
tmd4L 7
The puppy was trying to give you a Christmas gift.
underguarded 20
What dog owner would tell you to hold the puppy? I understand the concept that your comforting your puppy but it's almost a for sure he's going to pee or shit on you. Especially if you have a long drive a head of you. Merry Christmas anyways!