Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
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Top comments
Araoth 5
Did you dress as cat Santa? :)
Mr25_fml 14
Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*
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Comments (286)
Araoth 5
Did you dress as cat Santa? :)
kateheartswaffle 0
Merry Nyanmas?
Right_Click 12
They can has cheeseburger?
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Ah the true meaning of Christmas, spending time and giving gifts to loved ones... or in your case your cats.
Damn_Hippster 11
You know your a lonely cat person when...
nateb1tch 1
That's sooooo cute!
Sarah_moustache 9
Correction! Santa Claws(:
alexwarfield333 1
YES! 46 YES!
Earths_Venus 25
OP you're a moron, if you knew anything about cats you'd know they're active at night, so you should have played cat Santa during the day when they would have been asleep anyway. You deserve it.
graham11 14
NO 146 NO!!
foreveraloneXC 10
Or santa paws
tatababe 1
That's adorable
attaboy368 20
cats = loved ones~~
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
I find this extremely adorable:}
Zeppelin1969 5
Well I'm not a fortune teller, but yours isn't looking so good right now.
Checker 20
Is it a problem to laugh?
margie2194 12
Awee that's so cute OP! what did you get them?
Checker 20
Really? You reply to my comment just to be seen? What a douchey way to do it...
ZebcoGirl 0
No.. I did. As soon as I read it.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Come to think of it... I just got a bag of candy instead of a stocking so i'd rather be one of those cats.
lovepotion75 4
Love to know what she does for them during Easter!
ohSNAPyall 27
Peep hunt!
causticgirl 6
Or Halloween.
graham11 14
95- or thanksgiving!! Cat food feast!
waswashere 0
I lqtm'ed
youngbuck10 9
Forever alone Christmas.
fancyclown 9
Together alone, my friend.
FarSide 23
Yes, yes. I would agree that you have one incredibly ****** UP LIFE.
nublets 12
98- you are far less funnier than the far side comics
AlaskanEskimo34 0
How long does it take for a cat to fall asleep? No ****** way am i waiting more than 10 minutes. Patience is a virtue.
graham11 14
76 & 4- at least you two have each other's company!!
FarSide 23
@163: Who asked you Hemingway?
MrsLaferriere 0
(: Aww! Your dedication is cute.
emochicksrule 1
I know right! I think that's sweet!
broken_red_wagon 6
Plus, this person obviously sees the humor in this situation if they post it as an FML. Which makes this person likable!
MrsLaferriere 0
My grandma does this kind of thing for her dogs. I mean, she doesn't wait for them to fall asleep, but I still find it nice that people treat their pets as family.
graham11 14
My neighbor has stockings for her dog, cat, and her extended family's pets as well. Although it is a little strange taking it to the extreme OP did, I actually find the thought quite cute:)
philipino 24
*robot voice* But her effort was futile.
MrsLaferriere 0
164- That's so wonderful. (:
lolkaela 6
or really sad, depending on how you look at it.
Buttsexpirate 9
It shows you have a good heart when you'll stuff your ******* stocking
blackbelt25 12
... No
flockz 20
tell me it isn't so!!
Enslaved 38
Pussycat, Pussycat I love you Yes..... I...... do !
debatingalways 0
Not really an FML. More like a forever alone.
myoukei 31
once again, why is there not a "so what" button I can press?
kazter_boy 3
Crazy cat lady!
umang26 4
my name is earl
Gringe 1
Hi earl nice to meet you!
ThatFml 5
Lolcats
danielreader22 4
Lol no.
Mr25_fml 14
Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*
Bumblebee4ever21 0
Lol. Be better be good kitty! Or else no kitty litter fo yew ;)
EmperorHilo 11
Nice...