Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to tell me he couldn't take it anymore because my legs were too hairy. I shaved yesterday. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
B1ackthesun 31
Grasshopper has much to learn.
Comet_Candy 23
Oh wow... I'd probably burst out laughing if my boyfriend ever did something like that! But FYL, OP.
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Comments (63)
B1ackthesun 31
Grasshopper has much to learn.
Zazoo1995 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
One time, my boyfriend and I were having sex and I stopped in the middle, and told him that when he was a freshman in high school, I was a third grader (we are 6 years apart). Instant mood killer for him xD
Ambient25 25
Why the **** would you say that during sex....
onlychildFTW 34
12 - It couldn't have been too good if she stopped midway to give a random fact... It is an odd thing to bring up during sex.
Ambient25 25
#7 is a dude. And it's an odd thing to bring up period. "Hey, wanna know how I can make you feel like a creeper?"
rgri 11
#1 Why so many dislikes, this is funny lol
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Cause you're the BEST, ARRRROOOOUUND. NOTHINGS EVER GONNA BRING YOU DOWN
jazzy_123 20
that's nothing. Once I had an ****** so intense I farted... twice..
strike2867 13
The only reason I can think of why you'd say that, is that you just got into 4th grade.
incoherentrmblr 22
Whack on! **** off!
roadrash3000 2
It's what happens when hardcore nerds value their nerd shit more than women... It's not even remotely funny...
B1ackthesun 31
get a sense of humor #97
Comet_Candy 23
Oh wow... I'd probably burst out laughing if my boyfriend ever did something like that! But FYL, OP.
caohm 18
no happy ending for you
Rainhawk94 27
exactly OP needs to get a sense of humor
yellowzinnias 20
I'd do the same, but it would also be the end of any hope for an ****** that day. lol
J15237 25
That shit is hilarious. I think my wife would bust out laughing too.
pufffreak 13
Wow that's awesome imma do that
poncho55 40
This is completely unrelated, but I approve of your account picture. Very much so.
boating_guy 33
Hopefully, your significant other will have a much more positive reaction than OP's!
_parth 20
Going to do that too. Let's see what happens.
slickchrome 11
now that's taking foreplay to a whole new level
hays_xo 15
Did someone say best boyfriend material?! Hella yeah!! Even if he killed your mojo, don't be so grouchy!! laugh it up!!!!
Ambient25 25
Apart from the fact that you have seriously poor taste in "boyfriend" material, you said "hella", and I hate you.
hays_xo 15
Mate I'm from Australia and I don't give two ***** what anyone thinks of me. And no, I just have a good sense of humor. Which you clearly lack. Burn bitch.
Ambient25 25
Oh you're from Australia? Wow I'm sorry I didn't know that was a factor. Oh I'm single? Wow I didn't know that's supposed to put me down. *oh how nice of you to edit* Yup yup? Look here Ducky, just because you're a child doesn't mean you have to make it obvious.
hays_xo 15
This is just pathetic. Really.
Ambient25 25
Yes you're a prime example for why access to a computer should require a maturity test.
hays_xo 15
Wow. Is that how you talk to everyone? You rude ****.
Ambient25 25
^ And the definition of "hypocrisy" has been provided ladies and gentlemen. Let me quote you: "Mate I'm from Australia and I don't give two ***** what anyone thinks of me. And no, I just have a good sense of humor. Which you clearly lack. Burn bitch." Yep
californiapoppy 11
You should have karate chopped his man parts...
onlychildFTW 34
Well that's an overkill. Very rarely should you do that. Eeek.
hays_xo 15
That wouldn't entirely be fair, I think just get him to the point where he's revved up, and then just stop. It's only payback.
Madridsta1999 7
*reads comment* "Hey babe, come here please."
Ambient25 25
I hope that killed your sex time with the man-child dead! If you play with the breasts as though they were toys....you're gonna have a bad time.
hays_xo 15
I take it from past experience am I correct?
Ambient25 25
Do you? I'm sorry to hear that.
hays_xo 15
Sorry for tryin' to have fun. Kill joy.
hays_xo 15
Is there anyway to delete these things? -.-
Zack6849 8
But breasts ARE toys!
nikkidii 14
Actually, they seem like these huge jugs of milk to me
incoherentrmblr 22
#54, they are made from sand. Everyone knows that...
hays_xo 15
People are so serious! Lighten the hell up!
MysteryGuest214 10
Well, you deserved for sleeping with a twelve-year-old. Find an adult.
glabberfasted 16
And YOU need to have more fun. Sheesh.
honeymoonroyale 20
19, chiiiiiiiill....