Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
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Top comments
kittenmeownyan 18
Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op
ocramavaf 15
find out his with a kick to the nuts
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Comments (64)
Lovebunny21 6
Sounds like my brother. Brothers are a pain. But gotta love them.
akiahara 14
So glad I was an only child. And a girl. I like the suggestions of ******** assault, OP. That's pretty fair.
Kitten_Calderon 14
And you know his. Alls fair in love and war.
ColbyGB 13
Watch your back
lvmommie 1
ime sorry but that's so funny something my brother would say
Ashley_Sky 9
yeah i hate my brothers too. u should try to find out his weakness
yaoifreak 8
you brother if freaking awesome ...........he's scary .......:(
AliveLikeFire 7
Tell him he has 3. His throat, balls and jail and that he'll be seeing at least 1 of those if he does it again. That's assault and its illegal. The threat alone should be enough.
glamorous18 10
it's everyone's weakness.... hit him back
generalasskicker 12
Wait till he is asleep put a blanket over him lay both sides onto the floor and across the bed (your going to need a big blanket) lay bricks on top of the blanket draped on the floor then tape a note to his headboard say I know your weakness and then get a good running go and elbow drop him in the stomach of course this is if you want to hurt your brother I am in no way suggesting that you should do this of you don't want your brother hurt