Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my roommate found a solution to his awful body odor: bathing in vinegar. Now instead of smelling like a middle school locker room, the house smells like a chemical plant. I'm not sure which is worse. FML
Today, my roommate stunk up the entire floor again with his rancid bathroom trips from spicy foods so much that I ended up wearing a t-shirt over my nose just to play video games in my own room. He gets offended when I tell him to open the bathroom window to vent it out. If only I owned my own home… FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, despite using deodorant religiously and showering twice a day, my roommate still smells so bad that every time she enters the room I become physically sick. FML
Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Oh goodness, those Life Hack videos on FB have gone out of hand! WD-40 if it squeaks and it shouldn't. Duck Tape if it moves and it shouldn't. To quote Red Green; "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."
ajh1800 25
Try using baby powder to absorb the grease. It's fine enough that it can get into cracks and crevices and it will probably help with the smell too. After a while, brush it out of the cracks with an old toothbrush then vacuum it up. Then go buy yourself some W-D 40!
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Comments (18)
Inkoseh 33
Oh goodness, those Life Hack videos on FB have gone out of hand! WD-40 if it squeaks and it shouldn't. Duck Tape if it moves and it shouldn't. To quote Red Green; "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."
Sinshine 28
Quack quack.
Inkoseh 33
I know you're teasing! But for the uninformed: There's such thing as Duck Tape (Grey Sticky stuff everyone uses) and Duct Tape (Foil tape used for your HVAC Ducts!)
core01 30
The grey tape is 3M Duct (with a t) Tape.
chickensheep 15
Actually they are the same thing... Duck Tape is just a brand name of duct tape.
Inkoseh 33
Hmm well yes...technically. But ask any consumer and its synonymous with 'Duck tape'. Like everything is 'Kleenix' or 'q-tips'. I guess it depends on context if you're asking for it in store or situational conversations!
jbuckets_404 39
No, I use duct tape to leak-proof my HVAC ducts and duck tape to sound-proof my ducks (color coordinating - of course - per the pigment shade of their bills). Duct tape is a type of tape - while Kleenex and Q-Tips are brand names now used used as common vernacular to refer to an entire category of consumer products, respectively.
Sinshine 28
... and he didn't even try it on one hinge first but spread it around the whole place? Smart!
ashleynickinz 10
Pam spray works
Inkoseh 33
And Crisco! It's just very messy..
ajh1800 25
Try using baby powder to absorb the grease. It's fine enough that it can get into cracks and crevices and it will probably help with the smell too. After a while, brush it out of the cracks with an old toothbrush then vacuum it up. Then go buy yourself some W-D 40!
misswilwarin96 11
Bacon grease? What a ******* idiot. I use coconut oil because it doesn't smell and melts easily so it's able to get in all the cracks/crevices. Bacon grease is thick and not the best option, not including the smell.
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
Hot soapy water. Pour it through the hinges so the heat melts the grease and the soap washes it away. You’ll have to line your floor with towels and it may take 3-4 passes to get it all. Then re-lubricate with something that isn’t ******* perishable.
Jolene Stewart 2
Dawn dish soap, hot water and paper towls
shannon2348 14
wouldn't it smell like bacon???
Courtney Christoff-Tzazaroff 9
Please introduce your room mate to Wd40
katieemw95 8
Evict his ass.