Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, while I was drunk, my brother decided to use pliers to pull out my bad tooth. He grabbed the wrong tooth, and when it didn’t pop out cleanly he decided he just needed to squeeze harder, and crushed the healthy tooth into splinters. I can feel the nerve with my tongue, it’s agony. FML
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Top comments
beaglegal 42
Toe no!
chaseafterwind82 29
'And that was what started the terrible conflict known as the Great Prank War of 2015.'
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Comments (49)
beaglegal 42
Toe no!
MyGFisaturd 23
Do it back to him while he sleeps ;)
Cortezthe1st 23
I don't think that murder is the solution here.
Liamj774 36
Next time he's sleeping like that just take a pillow and smother him.
Sangue0608 26
That's a bit excessive...
sstahpp 33
Hell yes!
DamnBailie 23
I honestly gagged reading this. Thats horrible OP. Think of some amazing revenge. like shaving his left eyebrow off.
Ms_ValS 27
OP, the next time your family has pasta, make him up a plate and sprinkle on your feet shavings and say it's just cheese. Prepare a little baggy of it so you're good to go.
RedPillSucks 33
deliciously evil :-)
Dicebar 10
Some moustache wax strips applied while the little fiend is asleep sounds like a fitting escalation in preparation of total war.
LeashaJoy5595 28
That made me sick to my stomach reading that. I hope you get him back good, OP! Then give us the details of his payback
apaul982 14
Put a ghost pepper in his mouth while he's yawning
jonny_salsa 7
that's a little hardcore, don't you think?
MidnaLink 35
What about paprika? Or a Salt and Pepper combo?
ChloeRattlehead 22
Get him back with something worse. Like, some snot or something.
devinaww 15
ewwwwwww that's even worse than toenails
chaseafterwind82 29
'And that was what started the terrible conflict known as the Great Prank War of 2015.'
WOTAN1488 24
*vomit*
1dvs_bstd 41
Fart in his mouth when he's sleeping. It's not about revenge, it's about sending a message.
rileyrae0000 23
If he's sleeping, how is he going to receive the message? Unless he wakes up from it.. But heavy sleepers like me wouldn't
1dvs_bstd 41
Hold his nose... :feeling evil:
rileyrae0000 23
Very evil! But he deserves it
1dvs_bstd 41
I like the way you think.