Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
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Top comments
kittenmeownyan 18
Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op
ocramavaf 15
find out his with a kick to the nuts
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Comments (64)
Mifflicious 18
I wonder if he even knows how dangerous it really is? Maybe someone should tell him before he actually kills his sibling..
buddy51 23
Tell him you "nearly shot" the last guy who did that to you OP. And then say in a Christopher Walken voice "Watch your back, muthafucka, watch your back!" That should do it.
disGRUNTled123 2
That's ******* awesome he's a little killer
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Are you sure it was an accident? Also, he's seen Identity Thief too many times. :D
xRezSynn 15
Kick him in the nads and then tell him the same thing.
picante72 24
Film your revenge. Send the video to Break and they'll give you $1,000. Then we can all joyfully watch it on Youtube.
Jaszzie 6
Knock him out, when he wakes up say "Karma's a bitch, bitch."
megabite99 4
This reminds me of identity thief. But if he's the younger one. Than KICK his ass!!!
TiddleyMoney 7
from experience... That's just How brothers are. kick him in the nuts. That's his weakness. the only way out is to dominate! and talk a lot of Shit haha
Satoaoi 13
that's cute