Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Desfar 5
Give him the addresses to all the most popular gay strip bars. That should make his night.
ebonyirony 29
I'm sure he really does care about you. He just has to be drunk first.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
dirton89 7
Oh dear -_- we have a other one folks
ebonyirony 29
I'm sure he really does care about you. He just has to be drunk first.
bones_17 5
Only way to win his hart is send him a nude picture holding a delicious sandwich.
innavoiG 9
What's so bad about having a guys' night out?
zoPwNAgEzo 21
If he lives that far away and he hasn't seen her for so long, don't you think it's more important to spend time with her before having a 'guys night out'?
sweetpea5196 4
Nothing if it's occasional but the fact they haven't seen each other in two months makes it wrong. He should of went to the city to see her not get drunk with friends.
pwiincezz246 2
Lol or a strip tease video
the_blind_wonder 1
I would have let him know of the best possible place to get drunk, and then follow it up with, I hope you get so drunk you jump off a bridge.
I_lost_the_game 25
72- that was possibly one of the most confusing personal info's I have read.
tjv3 10
I wouldn't think the he considers you his gf OP. since he hasn't seen you in 2 months and is coming to town and isn't seeing you
jillybee101 7
These undies give me a horrible wedgie.
your_face 15
He's not visiting friends in her city. He's visiting her city WITH friends. It doesn't say why he's visiting, but he's probably visiting for the purpose of barhopping with his friends, and therefore won't have a chance to see op.
GothInside 6
My thoughts exactly! Plus 100 miles isn't all THAT far away to go 2 months without seeing each other....unless the relationship is indeed one-sided
BruisedGiraffe 15
Give him shitty places
Dunvanation 4
Good idea 4. I think it's time for a new bf OP. Long distance relationships don't usually work out well do try someone where you live. Maybe someone sober this time.
Nbackus9 4
61, that is a very creepy picture.
julygirl18 8
Give him the address to a gay strip bar. That will get his attention to come and visit you.
jillybee101 7
68- Boohoo.
KiiwiiRox 6
That's messed up. What kind of boyfriend does that? At least he could have just stopped by.
Sliver1991 26
Perhaps he isn't aware they are still in a relationship?
Codezlol 21
We call those relationshits
amandajlucas2015 2
Me and my bf live over 100 miles apart and still manage too see each other every two to three weeks so two months is just sad
outoftown 27
#5, Q: What kind of boyfriend does that? A: The soon-to-be-ex kind (I hope).
elmousey 5
48- Yea some people have a daily commute of 100 miles or longer. If my girl was only 100 miles away I would be driving to see her every weekend. But maybe I missed the part where cars don't exist in UK.
Desfar 5
Give him the addresses to all the most popular gay strip bars. That should make his night.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
He might enjoy those bars a little to much. Then we'd have another fml from the OP haha.
bjf10 22
They'd both be happier in the long run, though...
blink_kid 32
I might just do that ;)
DerpinaDerpton 8
It would make my night.
zandalee 20
Yeah OP you do that. Then please dump this looser. He sounds like a child and you deserve better!
thisiscat 14
Seems like he really misses you
KiiwiiRox 6
Nobody likes a person that says first! Just so you know #1
Warden1986 16
Maybe it's time to find someone local..
AppallingRogue 2
Sigh don't say that cause I'll lose hope too. My girlfriend lives two thousand miles away. Long distance isn't easy but you make due if you really love the person.
fucking_dev 2
ouch .. 2 thousand miles away seems like forever .... I feel you though mine lives about three hours away & it's still pretty rough .
limitedition 25
Ex boyfriend, you mean?
Liasse 7
What an asshole. He better be surprising you the day after he had his friends outing or he's pretty much the lamest guy on earth.