Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DarkPrince_fml 0
should've mentioned that to him
Beebow_fml 5
Go "check on his house" for him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (223)
DarkPrince_fml 0
should've mentioned that to him
borntoperform 14
Ya that would've turned it around and made it his FML
angrymexican 8
He's a great big phony! A home phony!
NeatNit 33
Maybe he made calls forward to his cell automatically?
LiveLaughFML 10
if you started the conversation with "hey, where are you?" after calling his house phone, i would understand his sarcastic response with him saying he's out of town. :-)
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Maybe it was actually his evil twin?
angrymexican 8
I don't know how my bad pun got thumbed up
sin862 0
44- stfu you suck balls
angrymexican 8
Obvious douche is madbro
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
52-well if he sucks balls then u swallow.
LiyIa_fml 8
60- amazing come back. Why cant the rest of the world have better insults and or come backs???? "Bitch, ****, etc..." gets old and looses all creativity.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Because if I replied with something smart or witty it gives him the opportunity to comment back but by saying something stupid he won't because his come back would be worse.
angrymexican 8
Ty deadlyturtle
tittymagic 0
I don't even know what happened, and all of a sudden some douche on his period gets all pissed off...
hubla 0
You know there is a way to have your home calls forwarded to your cellphone for when you go out of town
Zombie_Cotton 1
Mr.Turtle! There's something wrong with your hand!!! D:
SirObvious 1
Mobile-house?
zombicidal 11
deadly turtle do you happen to be related to Deidera
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
No? I'm a turtle Haha there's nothing wrong with my hand but something horribly right xD
angrymexican 8
I'm on an FML favorite list! My life goal is finally complete!
ILUVMSC 5
Hahaha, dumb ass...
shali14 0
REJECTED!
icefshng8 9
No. Ops boyfriend just had a headache
zukinihudini 0
They might live in different towns
rawrkittyrawr 6
Mobile house phone strikes again
rdotson06 1
Lmmfao. It always does
fmlsaves 0
Call forwarding.
satph 12
178- yes, yes you were.
avelasquez1428 3
You live in leesville,TX? If you do, I used to live in Nixon...how funny
shali14 0
No, I do not live in Texas.
blueberry_211 0
Silly boys these days
hilary56 0
More like stupid, how did the guy not realize this?
DavLynn 4
people in general these days.
DrDilllonReese 12
I've had girls give me worse excuses.
blcarter81 0
For obvious reasons...
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
110- it happen all the time to you, doesn't it?
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, almost as much as you. But I can't be that much of a failure with women
KiddNYC1O 22
Meoow
mortuum 10
I agree. Maybe he was forwarding his calls, but who knows. Maybe he's just dumb.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Just like when my ex cheated on me apparently she tripped and fell on his dick.
Beebow_fml 5
Go "check on his house" for him.
thaCODgod 4
+1
ssbtoday 3
Anyone hear of Call Forwarding?
MuziKMajoR 5
To ops bf-stupidity is a bitch
CryMoreFMLs 15
Understanding your scentence was a bitch, #5.
JustLetItHappen 2
Spelling sentence is a bitch.
iam_yummylicious 12
@55 - iz prfclty understud it 0k? dere thz tings c4lld cmprhension skeelz. sheesh. n0need to b a dck. nt hrad2 understud. kkthxbai
CryMoreFMLs 15
58 - I can understand it perfectly, but sometimes I just want a decently written sentence (got it this time!) that takes no efort to understand.
MrBoredGuy 1
Effort* Sorry I had to
xmidnightxlonerx 12
Just saying 86 if your 31 is it really appropriate to make fun of a younger child who is clearly not 18?
Zombie_Cotton 1
My one and only desire in life is to become part of the grammar police when I grow up.
LSU33DucKAholiC 0
Thank you jsfromga...?
twisted_cherub 14
I thank you. It would seem that, along with the ability to communicate with other people in person, the age of texting has obliterated proper grammar and correct spelling.
mortuum 10
@106 you're*
iam_yummylicious 12
@bartjeofzeau- My poor typing was intentional. I was mocking #55. Like #78 and others have said they understood what I typed. Unless you're mentally impaired my comment shouldn't have been too difficult to understand. There is really no need to keep getting defensive over a nonsensical comment that was in no way serious. 30 people found my comment amusing. I'm not illiterate. Stop trolling. KKThxbai.
TeeHee124 0
Shoulda said that's funny cause I'm looking in your window now
Shaddo_fml 0
Call forwarding u idiot
Gloritank 8
Don't know why this was thumbed down. Call forwarding is a possibility.
Gloritank 8
Don't know why this was thumbed down. Call forwarding is a possibility.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
I use it all the time
dancer050 0
Dump his ass...
deviable 9
Those new portable houses are all the rage nowadays.
rattusrattus 19
I think they actually exist. You can fold them up and put them on a truck. Alternatly, trailer homes.
deviable 9
But can you put them in your pocket? We can only dream...
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
No! We must simply enlarge the pocket!
jePomme 0
I believe that's called the TARDIS pocket.
ArielTheMermaid 17
9 made me lol :)
blondie1208 17
go over there and confront his stupid ass.
instnt1nfction 17
One cannot simply confront an ass
ProhibitionRose 14
My husband confronts my ass all the time...but we don't exactly call it that 0.0
salsa324 0
17- xD lol win
salsa324 0
-17 win
CyonideCyns 0
68-Win :)