Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Today, while at a party, my boyfriend threw a temper tantrum. He screamed at me and then gave me the silent treatment. All because I said, "No thank you" to the crab dip he got for me. I'm allergic to shellfish, we've been dating for two years and it's come up before. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
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Top comments
curtyman11 9
Joey doesn't share food!
Dracoboxer357 36
Aaaaaand then I reread this fml, and realized I'm an idiot, as he started it, she retorted and he took it up a notch into ******** mode. :p Commence the thumb burial, please.
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Comments (84)
adam_night 9
More of you to love!
MisssMia 9
Hey OP this really sucks. I don't know you ofcourse but my suggestion would be to dump this guy. First of all, he doesn't share food? Who the hell doesn't share food?? Especially chips man that's the food made for sharing. Secondly, I m sorry to tell you this but, judging from that comment, he doesn't seem to respect you at all. You deserve someone 100 times better than this asshole. Don't settle down for him, dump his ass and find the right guy (I know how hard it is to find the right one trust me, I ve been in and out of stupid flings for a while now) but if you keep trying you ll fond the right one, hopefully everything works out for you.
MisssMia 9
He was hungry? Maybe she was hungry too? Doesn't matter what state you are in you always share food or alcohol or cigs with your friends and especially your gf. I don't wanna live on this planet anymore!
Cysioland 8
Hahaha, double win of him. Anyway, he's a scumbag.
muin 12
He's your boyfriend, why?
MissB_1990 4
You can do better.
Chucklikesbacon 12
It's kind of a mix of YDI and FYL. YDI for not letting it go, it's his right not to share, but then he should accept that for you aswell, without insulting you. But I have to admitt, it was a clever response, even if it was very rude.
luknuts 3
That's awesome
snegec 7
Tell him you don't share your ****** either.
flashback_fml 14
Lol if you are fat don't start a food argument