Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML
Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
charvisioku 22
Someone should have lit the fart - a ballerina gliding through the air with a fire trail coming out of her arse would be a magnificent sight to behold.
RaveBlade 4
Well at least you were able to continue without pain afterwards?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
RaveBlade 4
Well at least you were able to continue without pain afterwards?
ShyAnn29 15
Yeah, only one fart isn't a big deal, much better than bad stomach pain!
GlitterValentina 12
At least she didn't pass out from nervousness.
Inheritance 10
Takes a whole new meaning of, 'silent, but deadly.'
buck33 14
69 - No, it doesn't.
Meettitan 14
69- It was loud and awkward.
102Percent 5
Well OP, this could have done wonders for you. When you farted in mid-air, you shouldn't have felt ashamed, rather, thankful. The fart could have been used in your advantage, giving you extra flight. Shoulda done a flip.
rocketiquette 20
I have nothing.... Bummer. Hope you aren't a nervous tooter.
lilhellian 27
If you have nothing then why try and take top comment from a comment that could make us all laugh?
gysgtware 4
She has her awesome pic! Smoking!
rocketiquette 20
Sorry didn't know there was a petty competition here. But thank you all for attending my funeral, it's my first burial.
gysgtware 4
Life is a competition! I'll bring flowers.....
lilhellian 27
*Plays funeral music* I do agree with 49 tho:)
rebecamp494 5
Why did you even bother to comment if you "had nothing"? Bitch please...
redmane 21
98- Why did you bother commenting when it was already pointed out?
rocketiquette 20
98- calm your ****, I already got reemed out by the fml rents. But in all seriousness, I said "I got nothing" in the sense of "damn all I can really say is **** that really sucks" hence "bummer". But thank you everyone for telling me that's a no no around here, I promise it won't happen again, please don't ground me.
ewang_ 12
Lay off the baked beans next time
howdeedoo 22
Are you saying that eating baked beans is the only thing that causes people to fart?
Enslaved 38
I thought ballerinas only ate brown rice and vegetables. Lol Broccoli will make some gassy as hell.
illmatic2 16
Well if you kept going and pretended like it didn't happen then you should be just fine. If you lost all bearing after that then you're ******.
cristy91 33
Who knows, maybe that will be her winning ticket. If she continued nicely, it shows OP can handle herself under expected situations and can recover from even the most crippling of embarrassments.
sens3sfailing 25
agreed. isnt part of being a great stage performer is being able to handle everything that is thrown at you? a lot of bravery and self confidence makes the best performers
YDIbroski 7
YDI for not letting it out beforehand.
Warden1986 16
Yes because we can always control, when we have to fart.
YDIbroski 7
I can.
21jason 9
Well aren't you just talented
lilhellian 27
23 Try and fart 34 times right this minute. I'm sure when you shit yourself you will learn just how much control there really is.. OR hold a fart in for 14 hours..
poccocurantes 7
YDIbroski Things to do today 8:00 eat breakfast 8:30 remedial math class 9:45 meeting with student advisor 10:20 slip in the alley by the student union and let out the fart that has been building since breakfast. 10:25 English 101
buck33 14
YDIbroski is simply a superior human being.
lilhellian 27
75 That is a superior example of sarcasm. Well done, heres a cookie. *hands cookie*
charvisioku 22
Someone should have lit the fart - a ballerina gliding through the air with a fire trail coming out of her arse would be a magnificent sight to behold.
wlddog 14
That was a fantastic visual. I now want to see that.
stewpididiot 11
Especially if the ballet was about the Hindenberg disaster
SPRKY 6
Encore!
poccocurantes 7
It is the latest development in modern ballet. The jet assisted lift.
LolPieRofl 11
Cirque de inferno
BulldogHoops 14
I'm favoriting this FML simply so I may see this comment again one day. Thank you, sir.
Valkyrie97 4
Thank you. Your comment had me cry with laughter.
Steve95401 49
Everybody in the theatre is going to remember your audition for a long time.
ICastillo 25
I bet she blew the audience away with that performance.
igive 29
I bet after all that dancing, she was winded.
sheethapins 13
Yeah, but I bet if op got the role the show would have been a gas to see.
DanielleinDC 34
A rip-roaring good time!
twinkiefeets 17
I think you lost the part, sorry. Maybe next time take some gas pills first.
Coalke 5
I think are about to make a dumb comment.
harp 9
Farts happen, Mother Nature has a sick sense of humor..... Life goes on
Darksoul09 16
At least the acoustics were great!