Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Omg_its_Chloe 6
Why don't you rub some salt and vinegar into his eyes. Poor OP ):
kittycat1597 10
FYL, he's a douche.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
lmfb07 0
He compared cheating to a chip flavor? Wow. Whole other level has been reached
urmomshouse 0
Hes badass
Phr0zen 11
So he got bored of the smokey BBQ Flavor? I don't think a simple sorry will cut it and it is really difficult to trust cheaters as their morals are comparable to the cast of Jersey Shore.
sir_blackness 2
i prefer sour cream and onion..
sir_blackness 2
i prefer sour cream and onion..
mp022598 2
Amen
alliebaba7 8
I think he just broke up with you
daaniel69 6
He didn't deserve you anyways... There plenty of guys out there OP
mp022598 2
Yep and then there is that time when you need just a little sour cream and onion.
zee12101 11
Tell him that guys like a gum that can't last forever and had be thrown away!
dardieangusswagg 0
Bloody barstard