Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a cobweb right behind my head where I sleep. I went to wipe it off and part of the sheetrock dented in. On further inspection, they were holes in the wall. Termites started coming out of them like something out of a horror movie. My husband is out of town for the next few weeks, and I'm extremely bug-phobic. FML
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Top comments
janelly16 7
Reading this gives me The chills
SkoomaKi 28
Kill it. Kill it with fire, a massive book, a chainsaw, bleach, water, your hands (not recommended), a sword, juice, liquid nitrogen, grenades, a minigun and possibly a thumb tack. Last option: burn house down.
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Comments (161)
mightyjoe123 0
First
janelly16 7
Reading this gives me The chills
Futacy 30
Kill them all while theyre still weak!!! ;-)
imseksie 0
You have a great rack
b0ngs 7
14- judging by your picture...one can see you are truly forcer alone
GoingToBeAPilot1 6
forever*
thejewishfuhrer 17
14 said it. But every one else is thinking it.
b0ngs 7
25- thank you. Didnt notice that till now:$
Dracoboxer357 36
14- A little lacking in tact? 2- You have a great smile. :) (Not hitting on you. Married. Just wanted to say something nice to counter balance you getting objectified as only a set of boobs.) :p
Greendaycheese 12
Or you could take a decent picture.
FMLshark 12
It is said that people eat 8 spiders in their lifetime in their sleep. With those baby spiders in your room, OP.. You'll be the exception of eating a good 300 in yours. That bad taste of "morning breath" in your mouth the next day? Hmmm.
kakarot2 11
Don't kill them. If you can, just relocate. Spiders eat mosquitoes and other insects that transmit disease. Spiders are good, and most are harmless.
iLickRainbows 2
44- That's only an urban legend. This widespread myth has no basis in fact.
CaptTeemo 10
44's urban legend may become a reality with all those spiders in one area
llamafish 25
49 - Spiders like warm, dark, moist places. People often sleep with their mouth open. Though in honesty, 8 is actually far lower than the actual number.
Nutty4Muffs 3
There's literally NO way of knowing an average amount in this circumstance without insanely thorough and long-winded testing across a large population of average people. Not only would no one consent to this in their daily lives - to be watched in their sleep by cameras in their own home in the control environment - but no one ever has, and will more than likely never will. So no, all of this is legend and opinion based on the less-than-solid speculation. Good day sirs.
FMLshark 12
I know, 49. But I figured it was the perfect time to bring up that urban legend. Never said it was facts.
CheckMyProfile 17
Methinks the vacuum cleaner is a blessing in your case!
shanhigh 2
me too!!! ewww
DoubleCross 9
44-That myth actually has been going disproved because it has no basis. How are you going to know how many spiders people supposedly eat if you don't watch people sleep? But, on the other hand this myth may become fact with OP's situation.
siickman 7
It may be not be a fact but how do you know you dont eat spiders in your sleep..... Okay so we dont know the average in ones life time but we do know for a fact insects can and may enter your body while in the state of knocked the **** out mode.
TheBonzaiGirl 0
KILL IT WITH FIREEE!!!!
CaptTeemo 10
If its possible then it's not really an urban legend. It's just that we don't have "data" to support this. And I do know people who ate insects while sleeping, so why not spiders?
Nutty4Muffs 3
120 Exactly, but the Legend here is that there is data. It's definitely possible, and even probable, but there's no way to logically put a number on it. Unless you're Christian Bale in Limitless of course.
ChloeMastin 0
Thank god!
RussianFox 13
Why does 48 have negative votes? Sure some spiders are scary but they do take care of tons of annoying insects and will leave you alone as long as you don't bother them most of the time.
VoteForTaco 8
Burn your whole house to kill them all :D
sir_blackness 2
2-.. ur hot..
DogsPaw 16
That happened but it was all over my bike... Terrified of the things.
xoconnie 8
GROSS
lebronesque73091 12
I don't think I would have a good night's sleep ever if that happened to me.
DogsPaw 16
Slapped those ******* off with my sleeve rode home with spiders in my jacket... Not my best idea.
BlobfishUnite 14
I think spiders are cute.
XtraEzeee 8
That just sent shivers down my spine. FYL.
Da_Bauss435 8
Same here, and my dreams will now forever be haunted by that image
ohjessica 11
Time to move, OP. You should probably burn your house down while you're at it.
SexyQueen0905 24
Damn, you beat me to it!
OhDearBetrayal 25
11- For your statement claiming you are attracted to intelligence you sure fail to show your own.
KaanTech 0
Use fire it works every time believe me if you use it with long bursts these ****** die quickly so less pain Sorry if any of you love all living creatures. i just hate any kind of bug (expect bee's i love them even feed feed and pet them, i m not kidding)
SkoomaKi 28
Kill it. Kill it with fire, a massive book, a chainsaw, bleach, water, your hands (not recommended), a sword, juice, liquid nitrogen, grenades, a minigun and possibly a thumb tack. Last option: burn house down.
llamafish 25
I think burning the house down should be done first, to prevent any potential spread of the spiders.
CaramelMacchiato 13
^ Exactly. This is so gross. It sounds like an episode of "Infestation." Seriously, OP should react quickly before the spiders end up chasing him out of his own house!
moonlight6654 6
6- you copied 5
Angelrose2004 17
How could 6 copy 5 if they posted at the same time? Plus 6 was longer than 5's. I doubt it... Unless 6 edited. js
jillybee101 7
50- oh yes, he "copied" 5. Funny because I do believe they posted at the exact same time. Weird. Let's not go back to year 3 with the "copy cat" phase. Imbecile.
mejiiaa 0
ewwww
boofgall 16
Well, obviously.
UnicornInSpace 6
#7 , says the girl with the description "Poop".
likeAwesome 3
Knock that mother ****** off!
mercsl65 7
vacuums work great at cleaning stuff. even spider webs
CaramelMacchiato 13
I don't think OP's problem is the mess the spiders mad/the web. I think it's the spiders he's worried about.
silencebabyy 23
The web is on the ceiling though...
SexyQueen0905 24
I writhed just reading this. Move out and burn the house down while your at it.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I doubt OP could burn his house down thrice. After the first two times, people would probably catch on and put him in a home (away from anything flammable of course)!
bryantkilgo 0
You are ******* retarded