Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML
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Top comments
Weiss_Schnee 14
Am I the only one that checks the use by date? Plus couldn't you taste it?
AndyPurdy 31
wouldn't he know it was off?
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Comments (47)
Weiss_Schnee 14
Am I the only one that checks the use by date? Plus couldn't you taste it?
Miss_Whipped 43
At the grocery store, I always go to grab the carton that's the furthest away from expiring because just the idea of spoiled milk alone is nauseating.
xoteeshaox 22
You need your sense of smell to taste. As OP said, her nose was so stuffed up, she couldn't tell.
FusionPlacebo 26
Well, when my nose is usually stuffed, I can't taste anything. But then again, it depends on how old it was and if the taste would be foul enough.
Catdragon 40
that date does not mean expired. it means when it is freshest by. you can still use it after that date has passed.
ashieme2009 12
No, the date printed on a milk container is the use by date. Most items have this, only a few have a "most fresh by" date. I worked in manufacturing snack cakes and other such items for too long. I am also a cook, so using milk past the due date can make someone very ill if it is too far past the date.
Awesome_Ninjaz 12
Once upon a time there were no such thing as use by dates.
superguydude200 5
sometimes you can't taste when you are sick.
nattlecakes 19
I never go by the date. If you go by the date and throw it out as soon as it "expires" you are wasting milk. Usually milk is good for like a week after the expiration date on the carton
Ardeku 15
Milk is gross anyway. Almond / coconut milk are better for me personally... plus they last longer in the fridge.
ironmany_fml 23
a week? really? :-o remind me not to come to your house for a glass of milk.. ever..
PePziNL 20
If it looks good, smells good, and tastes good, it's still good. No matter what the date on the packaging says. But that's just my philosophy.
DoomSkuller 28
To my experience, sometimes the milk is still good a week or two after the use by date, but usually not. When it gets foul smelling and even just partially lumpy is when I throw it out
AndyPurdy 31
wouldn't he know it was off?
xKrisSmoove 21
Plot twist: The husband did know
howard007 18
What husband.. You mean boyfriend?
IceWrath 22
Husband AND boyfriend... That is a plot twist. Damn.
MortenM 17
Yea. And why didn't the husband do anything? Maybe it's another plot twist and he's actually into the boyfriend
mike_BMFOT 3
how would you have known it was bad if you never tasted it?
Psychicgirl17 18
because OP said they got stuck on the toilet, probably meaning OP got some diarrhea from the spoiled milk
sdroze1389 31
You can smell when milk goes bad
assassinbanana0 20
OP mentions her nose was clogged, though
NinjaDitto623 14
Maybe after op got stuck on the toilet, her boyfriend checked the milk
Sunflower1919 19
Did your boyfriend have a cold too?
dicamillo27 11
seems unlikely that, that's what caused it. the bacteria that grows in sour milk only makes you sick because of the taste of it. the actual bacteria doesn't do any harm to your body.
Sunflower1919 19
As a biomedical scientist, this comment makes me want to to rip my own throat out. I suggest you google bacteria and bacterial toxins.
dicamillo27 11
it made you want to rip your own throat out? damn.
ashieme2009 12
And as a chef who has to know and understand food born illneses, this comment also upsets me.
chrisann1023 21
It's definitely a good idea to throw that milk out and hopefully the expiration date is checked from now on... I hope you feel better!
91hayek 31
Feel ya OP. Just got done convalescing from bad milk today. Easter ruined. My fault though, thought that's just how almond milk tastes.
finalyearsofhate 22
Milk isn't a good choice when you're sick anyhow. Dairy makes mucus thicker and more difficult to expel. Next time stick to clear liquids. Hope you're better soon.
jazzy_123 20
I was hoping someone would comment about this! great tip!
BoredomIsReal 13
You deserved it because you should be able to taste it. Or look at the use by date
soullyfe 33
Her nose was stuffed; it probably messed up her taste buds. Plus, her boyfriend is the one who made breakfast for her, so obviously she wouldn't have gotten up to check.
Aimeejasmine 15
Someone's looking for a reason to make OP feel even more shitty
toshaleigh 15
I pretty sure your boyfriend had breakfast wouldn't he of known it was bad??