Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
alwa7sh 2
Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.
DocBastard 40
None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.
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Comments (67)
x_Cupcakes 0
I hope you finished up quickly.
marinus_fml 20
cue the shitty puns...
alwa7sh 2
OP, That is a shitty situation ! Its ok life is full of crappy moments like these. #2 I hope this doesn't make you feel like shit.
ripjohnlennon 5
hah! I get it^
smokeymcpottt 3
^ No shit!
Rawr1918 4
2# Hahaha :)
Hummbinger 5
Fake, girls don't shit.
newjerseyguy 0
agreed
thejacl 0
or fart...
qcumberlovar 2
haha ignorance is bliss. :)
CreateZ 0
Reverse blumpkin?
TalkSick 2
HAHAHA exactly. :D
alwa7sh 2
Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.
tr0llz0r 0
Nobody wants to hear that shit. We get it; you poop. Congratulations.
VertigoSD 0
What a shitty statement @7.
xrawritsashleyx 11
its pretty much only an FML cuz as much as everybody poops... its embarrasing to most girls. my ex always pooped when i was around. at my house and his. and he announced it. i never pooped at his house and when i had to i never announced it. its just slightly embarrassing for us girls. we dont know why. especially if its a new relationship.
bananamonkee 0
hahah for reals shit, drop the kids off and tidy up cause as long as you ain't doing anything un natural get your ass out the toilet and open the door
DigitalKnight 0
Absolutely. So you pooped and may be he came to know or he heard. So what?
tr0llz0r 0
Recommended reading: "Everybody Poops." While it may not be the screaming ***** like you have, it still occurs. My advice? Shit as loud as you can. The toilet provides excellent harmonics for your butt trumpet. Make us proud.
Bekll 31
Why is this under medical?
tr0llz0r 0
Bodily functions are quite medical in nature. Heh. Nature. See what I did there?
xStiina 0
It was sh!tty situation you just got into...
anma_fml 0
no. it's not.
MaiDeath 0
You shouldve text him