Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML
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Top comments
YummiGummi 0
witty. very witty.
McMike10 1
You're punny
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Comments (326)
raerae1995 6
The wording made this entire situation sound lame.
MrBrightsidexvi 6
Why the hell would you take a dump in her yard? Are you a talking dog?
Stormmm 6
You probably should have mentioned a dog taking a poo on her yard, instead of you. Lol. Gross. But sorry OP. Must suck.
kenyata_alyssa 4
aww, how lady like.
spam11 1
Then you better "hope" she steps in because if not then it's all pointless and you look like a dumbass. But with that idea I'm sure you're used to being a dumbass.
nyannyannyan_fml 0
Suck it up and move on, kiddo.
chuckcloninger 12
No wonder he left. You have no class at all if you would ever consider doing such a thing. What a disgusting pig you are. I'm do happy for your boyfriend.
HITide76808 0
Haha...do your thing girl. Go fertilize her grass
elbishay93 0
You're pun was very un-funny sir.
Fylminesawsome 5
Next FML: "today my neighbour and my ex-boyfriend caught me squatting and taking a dump on her lawn. FML"