Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
LilaBear 2
Makeup can fix pretty much anything, except severe scarring. Some actors and actresses have vivid tattoos that have to be covered up with makeup for movies.
fishyfingaz 0
who the **** buys a cat as a wedding gift?
5upernova 3
That's terrible! If you were planning to take wedding photos on that same day, I hope you can change it --"
DameGreyWulf 1
YBDI - your boyfriend deserves it Don't put a damned cat in a closed box for an extended period of time. It IS going to freak shit. He should have just kept it off in another room, told you to close your eyes, then brought it to you. Still a FYL though
asher4 0
Nope Frankenstein is not scary at all if u knew the real story, he was the one who actually told the story the creature had no name hahaha I just had to read that book for English!!!
Kuroftw 0
Your fiancee is a dumbass. Cats hate being stuck in small, dark places. Anywho, makeup, and lots of it.
DameGreyWulf 1
Wouldn't that agitate the scratches and make them stand out more (swelling, reddening, and such), especially considering they're fresh?
Houndourpup 0
Dill some nails in his neck and he can be FRANKINSTINE!
bigcrazymike 6
He gave you a cat?! OMG That sucks! FYL
ZeroCharisma 0
It's idiotic to put an animal in a box to surprise a person. Especially a cat. The cat was scared and tried to escape when you opened the box. Your boyfriend should have had enough sense to anticipate that. Also, I agree with #70 about the poor timing. Is your cat going to be alone in an unfamiliar environment the entire day of your wedding and are you planning on going on a honeymoon? If so, who the hell is going to take care of the cat? Giving a living being as a gift is such a stupid idea unless you know the person is really going to pay attention to it and care for it.
wongcf90 0
soo, hows the wedding?