Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
arielsais 0
stop being so narcissistic. you have a cute kitten (who was probably scared from being stuck in that box) and you're the bride so no matter what you look like you're still gonna be the belle of the ball. :)
lolingz 0
To be fair, Elizabeth isn't ever described as being unattractive.
stpanimalcrulety 0
thanks op you just made my day..lolz
meanxgf 0
Frankenstien isn't the monster smarts he is the doctor that created it
SpasticTurnip 4
Shouldn't he be your fiancé then ? It should've happened to him, He was the asshole who put a cat in a box :3
keilah 4
Animals aren't great presents. Even if you know the person likes that kind of animal in particular, all cats aren't interchangeable, it's best to meet an animal before you buy it to make sure it's not an instant mutual hate situation. An alternative would be to, as a present, take you to the place that's selling the kittens and let you choose one.
GriefBacon 0
You call your fiance your boyfriend and you expect this to seem plausible? Riiiight.
Beaky0315 0
frankenstein is the person who created the monster, and his girlfriend isn't ugly
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
OMFG IM SO SORRY!! **tehehehe***
Vaistin 0
Yeah sure... Blame the cat for being born ugly.