Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
Mr_Pooter 0
By the way, being from Sweden... That is very good English! Punctuation and whatnot is good.
perdix 31
How did a scared cat make white stripes up an insane beehive hairdo?
Witchcraft_fml 5
It was a fabulous kitty with mad hair-stylin' skillz, of course.
Mauskau 36
To the assholes saying shit about OP's English, mind you OP is from Sweden, and even though in some places they start learning it from the age of THREE (my friend did, so English is his second language(AND it's better than half of the people that live in England's English!) some of them don't even learn it in school or as a child and they need to teach it to themselves. How would you like it if you taught yourself Swedish and tried to tell the internet something in perfect Swedish, and maybe you made a mistake or two, and everyone on there started taking the piss just because you made a mistake. No, we don't normally do that to people that fail with English because it's a hard language to learn and so many people know it. Swedish is pretty hard too, and it's not really a well known language, as it's only used in Sweden(duh!). They'd be nice to you if you made mistakes, so be nice to them.
ffmylife 0
your boyfriend should have known better than to trap it in a box! yes, cats love boxes, but not being trapped in them. no wonder it got scared!
idiotkid 0
Aw, sad. Well, it's the thought that counts, right?
mizu22 0
use lots of make-up??
scb197 0
shouldn't he be your fiance if you're getting married tomorrow?
wiener_lover 0
YDI for liking cats.......and marrying someone who likes cats.
Cristaderzi 0
WOW whoever put the kitten in that box was sick! Fyl but Someone get a Ydi Cause. I mean OMG who in REAL LIFE does that crap??
WTFsGoingOn 0
Obviously the guy she is marrying :P
opeious 0
Just wanted to say this: Frankenstein isn't the name of the monster, its the name of the mad scientist that creates the monster... the monster doesn't have a name... :)
Anteezy 7
It's called the monster of Frankenstein.