Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
AlphaWolf24 0
thank you for making me pee muh pants
ohwow013 0
I'm sure u will still look beautiful lil makeup and u should look fine....Good luck!
ashwowa 14
ok i dont know what everyone is talking about with the grammar mistakes?? everything is spelled correctly with correct punctuation. example: it DOES say "an" before "early"!!
kei1108 13
It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about how you look; all that matters is how happy you are about what is about to transpire!
Parisgirl34 12
OMG! I feel so bad for you but just put makeup on it and you'll be fine.
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : Dont you mean fiance then, OP?
cwl727 33
but you still got a cute kitten out of it.
fantasyworld 39
Who puts a cat in a box?
MyScurvy 22
Wait did your fiancé give you Schrödinger's cat for an early wedding present?