Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
actuallyscottish 2
Dress the cuts tonight with hydrocolloid dressings, then tomorrow put liquid bandage on them and pat makeup over rather than rub. Poor kitty!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Play her off, Keyboard Cat.
Skull_300 0
**** the Cat! Get rid of it...Cats Suck!
thombie 0
I say f*ck the idiot fiancé who thought it was a good idea to put a cat in a box.
crystalelizabeth 0
*aN early learn how to spell OP
mekeskidi_fml 0
Leave her alone, her first language is not English.
Twinklestar 0
That's grammar, not spelling and if you're going to correct a minor grammar error in her second language perhaps you should be using correct grammar yourself.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I do not see what everyone is talking about. This is the 2nd comment on the use of the word "a" instead of "an" but the OP I see above says "an early" Did this somehow get updated or something to correct the grammar? I didn't think they did that on this site but I can't see that two people (plus those who responded to them) just imagined it was wrong.
Skull_300 0
**** Speling and Grammar an get Rid of the ******* Cattt!
EmmiAnne 25
There is some irony in Skull's comment; "**** speling"
LalkaPolska 0
Dette ordner seg just snygt skal du se ;)
wongcf90 0
poor cat =( yeah, tons of make-up base + concealer + liquid foundation topped off with some finishing powder should do the trick. just make sure your make-up doesn't end up on your dress.
LikeOhMahGoose 0
Idk why but this seems fake to me
shamandalie_fml 0
Definitely FYL Anyways, Frankestein was just the doctor, the actual monster I think you're referring to has no name..
Twinklestar 0
No... pretty sure she's referring to Frankesteins bride(his bride as in the bride he creates for his monster, not his bride as in the woman he marries) in the sequel to Frankenstein.
Mumblstiltskin 0
Yes, but that movie title is a mistake because in the movie the bride is Frankenstein's monster's bride, but people who are uneducated refer to the monster as Frankenstein. Perhaps if our society wasn't ignorant we wouldn't have these kinds of mistakes. Know your facts before saying something, don't just go with society's mistake--the monster has NO NAME, Frankenstein was the doctor, Victor Frankenstein.
Twinklestar 0
It's a movie you retard. Not knowing it would hardly make you uneducated. Failing to grasp the wording of the sequel which is correctly titled however would make you somewhat uneducated. It's Frankenstein's bride in the same way it's Frankensteins monster. I really don't know how you could fail to get that from the explanation above. Perhaps you should get a clue what you're talking about before whining about an ignorant society, yeah?
jjnov 0
finally someone who knows this! I can't stand when everyone goes around making references to 'Frankenstein', thinking he is the monster. maybe they should actually read the book.
Erindub 0
Who puts a cat in a box?! Of course it got scared. Good luck with his for the rest of your life...BTW, as I always say, marriage is NEVER the answer!
SlipknotGirll 0
i agree completely.
your_face 15
False. What word is spelled M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E? Everything is the answer to SOME question.
Mr_Pooter 0
Whoa... People are making a big deal over the fact that she said "boyfriend" instead of fiancé. It's kinda silly, but entertaining... Humans are so intelligent, capable of so much, yet we obsess over the smallest of things. Lol. Anyway, people often date a single person for several years before getting married. Who knows, maybe they were bf/gf for so long that she is STILL used to saying "boyfriend" instead of the correct term, which would be "fiancé"... Anyway, putting the cat in a box was definitely a bad idea. I mean, my cat loves boxes, and he would probably be OK with it, but most cats are nuts and would do that sort of thing.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I had the same problem for a long time when I was engaged. I called her my girlfriend all of the time, now I have to remember to call her my wife, haha.